last march 05, i have received a superb unconfirmed news...there were rumors that the man behind the creation of the iconic sandman is going to the philippines..i was thrilled..the feeling of a kid ridng a bike for the very first time revisited my monotonous existence..ever since that day, i was planning on what to wear or what to say when i meet mr.gaiman(noting in my head that first impressions do last..). i was very confident that all my books were gonna get signed.it never crossed my mind that swarms of fan will actually show up for his book signing..well, because of my misconceptions, i got only 1 book signed, a minute of meet and greet the writer and 7 hours of painstakingly lining up under the heat of the sun and sporadic rain.

that day at fully booked, greenhills, i was filled with mixed emotions.i was excited, pissed (coz my friend was late.we ended up arriving at promenade at around 1pm), irritated because of the scorching heat, dumb-founded (looking at how long the line was), hungry as a hyenna, sleepy like dopey the dwarf (i had to work over time last saturday that lasted up to the wee hours of sunday mormimg to do a politcal briefing..oh!i work for the government...ssshhhhh...and imagine the stress im under with all these raucous going on) and my brain was in its all-time overload mode ( i was trying to enjoy the moment mr. gaiman was reading excerpts from his book but coverrtly my brain cells were processing stuffs from my subconsciousness).

it was a matter of gamble for us who don't have stubs.we could stay in line and anticipate the worst (blood, sweat and tears and no gaiman signature) or go home and enjoy the comforts of our respective humble abode. apparently, i sticked up with the first one (glad i did!coz i had some fascinating conversations with fellow fans and we also shared in vocalizing bits of our angst to the organizers...hehehehe)

as the day near its end and my feet soring, voices in my head were battling on whether to stay on being an optimist or finally throw in the towel and call it a dreadful day. having no viable options on how to get mr gaiman sign my book (FYI, i was rehearsing a scenario in my head that i was terminally ill and i asked the organizers to spare me from their exceptions because my dying wish was a signed book or if everything fails,i'll stalk mr. gaiman until he can no longer bare it and feel pitiful thus granting my request)if i leave, i've taken a risk with a 50-50 chance.

finally, i was inside the bookstore (i've heard murmurs of people being scared, nervous and scheming on how to get 2 books signed.the last batch was limited only to 1 book and a signature). i was flustered.my brain was processiong too fast.i did not know what to say if he asked me a question.when it was my turn, i posed for a picture but mr gaiman was not looking and when he looked up it was over.he just touch my arm and that was it. i envied the others who were able to hugged, kissed and had a short chat with him.if only i could turn back time and change my fortune....

this is the point where my post-neil gaiman encounter syndrome began. i was sad and had the "how i wish" atttitude and blaming myself for blewing this once in a lifetime chance. i don't know if it's just stress or mr gaiman might have inexplicably touched( i don't know if that's the right term..maybe more overwhelmed..yeah!that's it!)my life.

until this very day, i have sentiments that i don't know where it's coming from.. im gloomy.im picturing myself that someday i'll be able to go to the states (if i get a visa..you know the flick la visa loca?you'll get the picture) and attend one of mr gaiman's book signing and hopefully get a personal message and chat with him.

im not a big fan of mr gaiman but i do have an immense respect for him not only as a writer (how i envy his talent to make up attention-grabbing stories) but as a person as well ( imagine him signing for hours and hours, he's only human and still accomodates everybody). i might not know him personally but my brief encounter with him is enough for me to assume that he is indeed just like everyone else. his only edge from me is that he could touch lives from all over through the thing he loves the most - writing. and for that mr gaiman, thank you for such a contribution to society and for giving me an exceptional world where door, loki, shadow, tristran, aziraphale, morpheus, death and many others exist.

i bet that there are also others who are under the post-neil gaiman encounter syndrome..well, can only hope for his return but until then... i don't know either....hehehehe


P.S. just hope mr gaiman would read this and realize that he is already an icon in his own right..

carpe diem!