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song lyrics that piss you off

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August 31, 2008, 05:44 AM
general punk, MA
song lyrics that piss you off
*facepalm*

i'm so disturbed by stuff like that


High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination,
Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple.
-scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav
-Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella
-The key thing to remember about historians is that we are entirely capable of being objective, empirical and batshit crazy. ~ Dr. Marvinmarymac
September 02, 2008, 10:13 AM
Apathy
quote:
Originally posted by Dweller in Darkness:
It's nowhere near as good at getting across its message as "The Rainbow Connection." And when your song is outstripped by a man with his hand up a frog's ass, that's a bad thing.


ha! true. but it's such a beautiful song. I mean, yeah, the words are somewhat irritating, but it's...mesmerizing.

anyway. the husband has recently been regaling me with some song that apparently has the lyrics "I really like you a lot." he thinks it's hilarious. I'll try to find out what song it is so I can post it in its full glory.


~ fLame Woosh ~
Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and
Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation
September 02, 2008, 02:36 PM
Wayfarer
quote:
Originally posted by halucinagenia:
Bill Bailey does a whole bit on that, he sang I've got ham but I'm not a hamster.

Yes, you can turn it into a game: last one to run out of alternatives wins.
My personal favourites:
I've got toast but I'm not a toaster.
I've got weight, but I'm not a waitress,
etc.


***
http://snarkery.blogspot.com/

September 02, 2008, 06:29 PM
Dweller in Darkness
quote:
Originally posted by McApathy:
quote:
Originally posted by Dweller in Darkness:
It's nowhere near as good at getting across its message as "The Rainbow Connection." And when your song is outstripped by a man with his hand up a frog's ass, that's a bad thing.

ha! true. but it's such a beautiful song. I mean, yeah, the words are somewhat irritating, but it's...mesmerizing.

Which song are we talking about?
quote:
anyway. the husband has recently been regaling me with some song that apparently has the lyrics "I really like you a lot." he thinks it's hilarious. I'll try to find out what song it is so I can post it in its full glory.

Would it be this song?

They're Finnish, so they get a pass from me but, yeah, bad song.


__________
AJGraeme
"Why are there ghosts in the kitchen punching each other in the balls?" - Aidan, "Being Human"
"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried."
- G.K. Chesterton

My moderator voice is red.
September 03, 2008, 08:26 AM
Apathy
which one? well, I guess either. but I meant it by way of excusing "Imagine," which is one of my favorite songs for letting the music wash over me. don't care for the lyrics, no, but still. I will turn the volume all the way up (to 11, natch) if it comes on the radio.

restricted site. I'll check when I get home. Big Grin


~ fLame Woosh ~
Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and
Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation
September 06, 2008, 01:38 AM
FatPigeon
Jolene, by Dolly Parton.

My mom loves that song and used to have it in the one mix tape she kept in the car. I've heard it way too many times, and every time it just made me think "Oh, would you quit whining and fucking grow a pair?"

Also, during the chorus my brain goes "Shaolin, Shaolin, Shaolin Shao-leeeeen!"


~ Gal-El

I don't have a drinking problem. What I have is a drinking solution.
September 06, 2008, 01:49 AM
His Noodle Girl
My dad kept arguing with that song! He'd say, "look, if he's that easy to take he was a dick anyway."
And "shaolin" should make it cooler.


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
September 06, 2008, 02:24 AM
Hive
quote:
Originally posted by His Noodle Girl:
My dad kept arguing with that song! He'd say, "look, if he's that easy to take he was a dick anyway."

Amen to that!


***********************
"bring on the be-tentacled oppressors" - fluffyllama
September 06, 2008, 02:41 AM
FatPigeon
quote:
Originally posted by His Noodle Girl:
My dad kept arguing with that song! He'd say, "look, if he's that easy to take he was a dick anyway."
And "shaolin" should make it cooler.


Exactly! And how low does your self esteem have to be to want to stay with someone who talks about someone else in their sleep?

Shaolin!


~ Gal-El

I don't have a drinking problem. What I have is a drinking solution.
September 06, 2008, 09:48 PM
Cyan Dream
quote:
Originally posted by FatOigeon:
quote:
Originally posted by His Noodle Girl:
My dad kept arguing with that song! He'd say, "look, if he's that easy to take he was a dick anyway."
And "shaolin" should make it cooler.


Exactly! And how low does your self esteem have to be to want to stay with someone who talks about someone else in their sleep?

Shaolin!


:shrug: You could pull a Josephine and just change your name to suit the need...I always thought the was a pretty sharp, funny way of dealing with your lover saying someone else's name while under the sheets.
(It took a lot of "gaul", ha-ha-ha.)





inagreyplace + colour theory.
November 30, 2009, 02:47 PM
Smaug
*le bump*

i may disect it late, but uncle cracker's 'follow me' is distastful in the least, trying to persaid a woman it's okay to be unfaithful because 'you won't find nobody else like me'.


~
I prefer to live in a country that's small, and old, and where no one would ever have the NERVE to wear a cape in public, whether they could leap tall buildings in a single bound or not.

the parrot... ...gets tiresome.
the parrot... ...i ate him.


CHIKKINZ?
December 01, 2009, 02:40 AM
His Noodle Girl
it's funny, that's one of my most favourite songs ever. I've always felt that it's not about morals, it's supposed to be about what the temptation feels like, from the woman's point of view. Like it's not what the man is actually saying to her, but what she fantasizes about him.

And I think what I like about it is that it's not a song about how you're supposed to behave. Smile Of course it's a selfish song. Cheating is selfish. And this is a song about the secret lure of cheating.

"You won't find nobody else like me" is actually a pretty accurate representation of why women won't leave. Whether that's ok or not is not the subject of the song.


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
December 01, 2009, 03:08 AM
His Noodle Girl
Here's my step by step translation of why I think this is a wonderfully accurate description of what seduction feels like inside a woman's head (despite being sung from the male perspective).

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why
You can't turn around and say good bye


set up: everything else feels irrelevant except that he's there.

All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free
And swim through your veines
Like a fish in the sea


The feeling of freedom - also from who you are perceived to be and what your limitations are - is a major part of the lure. And of course you can't stop thinking about the guy, he's permeating every bit of you.

Follow me and everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night


The siren song in the woman's head. And who says that cheating is just about the sex? (Though from a logic point of view I would say that I can't imagine her husband not noticing that she is being tucked in at night by somebody else. Confused )

And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me


The ultimate fear of losing what you have just gained.

I'm not worried about the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows
Then nobody can care


The typical thing a seducer would say. Obviously, the man doesn't care.But maybe she should be feeling a bit more guilty, huh?

You're feeling guilty
And I am well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared


My friend Vee, in love with another man, is feeling like that right now. Right this moment. Guilty - but not ashamed. I think it's a very accurate description. The fact that he is not scared and doesn't care, makes the focus of this song even more about her, because it leaves the last decision to do so up to her.

Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why


The less one knows of the seducer, the more interesting and mysterious he becomes. And if you did know more about him, quite possibly you would be appalled.

I'm not the reason that you go astray

No indeed. The reasons for going emotionally astray are many, but rarely lie only in the fact that the guy is such a sexy dude. It lies in how he adresses needs in you that you never knew you needed and never want to go without again. Obviously, it would be better to address these needs with your boyfriend/husband rather than going astray. But that's how it often plays out.

We'll be allright if you don't ask me to stay

Heh. If you'd let yourself into a monogamous relationship with the person, it would turn out to be a disaster (and not only because both of you are wanderers!). Perversely, what makes him unsuitable for a real relationship makes him perfect as an affair.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: His Noodle Girl,


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
December 01, 2009, 11:30 AM
Smaug
that makes sense.

now i dislike *her* intensly instead of him Razz


~
I prefer to live in a country that's small, and old, and where no one would ever have the NERVE to wear a cape in public, whether they could leap tall buildings in a single bound or not.

the parrot... ...gets tiresome.
the parrot... ...i ate him.


CHIKKINZ?
December 01, 2009, 12:47 PM
His Noodle Girl
Haha ok! I don't.


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
December 31, 2009, 12:51 PM
Wayfarer
I thought this thread might like this link.


***
http://snarkery.blogspot.com/

January 01, 2010, 06:04 PM
cloverheart
Been thinking about adding this to the thread for ages.

Do They Know It's Christmas
Written by holier-than-thou rich celebrities who want to make you feel guilty at Christmas and remind you of less fortunate people. The final intention is noble, I just wish they'd chosen someone more talented for this manipulative, sentimental shite. It's bad from the very start.

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid


What's there to be afraid of? Lazy song fillers?

At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime


Huh? Some of these lines make sense. But not in reference to each other. As part of the "message", they're incoherent. My guess is they wrote several catchy phrases and picked 3 random ones for this verse.

But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones


Got a problem with people telling me to do religious stuff I don't adhere to.

At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears


Not at all melodramatic, Bob.

And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom

Appropriate that this over the top "clanging chimes of doom" is sung by drama queen Bono.

Now I'd like to repeat this sentence: "The Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom". What the fuck does that even mean? If you say the bells..., which is equivalent to "the only bells", then as a listener I anticipate you're going to talk about real bells. If you talk about clanging chimes of doom, I doubt they're real sounds (what's a chime of doom? why does it clang?). If the Chimes of Doom are metaphorical (a metaphor of what?), then they're not actually the only bells that ring there, are they? They're the bells that ALSO don't ring there like most of the bells that don't ring "there" [Aside: where's "there"? The whole massive continent of Africa, apparently, which Bob imagines as one single entity of poor starved christmasless children with freaky ghost bells]. Because then I could say "The only bells that ring there are the clanging CHIMES OF DOOM and the twinkling cling of fear and the booming jingle of war...".
(This could actually be a drinking game...)

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

I get the guilt trip. You're very right. Of course, it doesn't quite work if sung by multimillionaires.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime

I almost hate this line most of all. Of course there won't be bloody snow in Africa this or any Christmas, mostly because Africa is pretty much a snow-free continent for the most part and actually I'm quite sure most of Africa is quite happy not having any snow fucking up their ecosystems. Also, why is that such a tragedy? Is Bob implying that Christmases with snow are better and therefore we should pity poor Africa-as-an-entity because it doesn't get it?

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life

Poor Africa. They get life, instead of snow and plastic crap.
(I don't even understand what the hell this line relaly is about, besides being another filler.)

(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow


First of all, here we're back as Africa-as-an-entity, in the form of a barren desert this time. There are some pretty cool rivers in Africa. Some of them are long and stuff. They got rain too, I'd say.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

I REALLY hate this line most of all. Most of the place has another bloody religion. THEY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT CHRISTMAS!! I'd like a pop hit from a Moslim country: Do they know it's Ramadan at all?

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?


Again with the clich├ęs and the fucking title: AAARGH!!!

Feed the world

How so? So far, you've only made me feel vaguely guilty for enjoying time with my friends and family, urged me to pray and to make a toast for them. None of that seems nutritious. Saying out loud "Lookit here, people are poor and starve" is not helping solve the problem, it's being an arrogant self-serving prick.

Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again


Aaah... So on top of guilt, prayer, and toasting, I just got to "let them know" it's Christmas. Will send them a card:

"Dear Africa,
Hope you're good. Just a quick note to let you ken I'm praying for you -even though I'm not a follower of any religion- and toasting to your starving health. I'm enjoying time with my beloved ones and eating like a pig because IT'S CHRISTMASTIME! I bet you didn't know! HURAH! I bet you feel better now! All the best, take care and don't let the chimes of doom keep you up at night.
Love, X"


January 01, 2010, 09:10 PM
Lard
Dear cloverheart- I want to rub bacon on you and have your baby. Signed, Lard.


_____________________


Love and serve your Lard.
January 02, 2010, 05:51 AM
Hive
Once Lard has your babies, if you decide to go for polyamory, clover, I'd like to be next in line, please.
quote:
Originally posted by cloverheart:
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime

Kilimanjaro!
quote:

(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow


First of all, here we're back as Africa-as-an-entity, in the form of a barren desert this time. There are some pretty cool rivers in Africa. Some of them are long and stuff. They got rain too, I'd say.

Last time I heard this, it was being sung by schoolchildren at the Christmas concert a few weeks ago. I did wonder at the time what the 70% who are actually from Africa, or are first generation here, thought of this bit.
quote:

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

I REALLY hate this line most of all. Most of the place has another bloody religion. THEY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT CHRISTMAS!! I'd like a pop hit from a Moslim country: Do they know it's Ramadan at all?

...especially since, of that 70%, about 65% are Muslim. (Although in the whole of the continent of Africa, I think Christianity and Islam are about the same in terms of numbers, but most of our kids come from the Maghreb.)

I appreciate the idea of it, and it raised money and all, but dear god, don't listen to the lyrics.


***********************
"bring on the be-tentacled oppressors" - fluffyllama
January 02, 2010, 06:29 AM
His Noodle Girl
"Do they know it's Ramadan at all" would be awesome. Really genuinely awesome, and only a little bit tongue in cheek awesome.


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!