i have layage waiting for me at home and i can't leave work yet!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Eldi:
Sorry to hear that Ava. I'm going on a date with a girl from OKcupid next weekend, hopefully, but i doubt it will lead to sex. I suck at making advances and tend to move too slowly for my companions.

It comes of being taught to be respectful to women, I'm so respectful I barely speak to them.

Same here. Moving too quickly feels seedy, sordid, and corny. I feel ridiculous doing it.

May I ask - do you ask the girls if you can kiss them? Believe it or not, many women find that endearing. I did, the few times it happened to me. (One was a come-on and I was desperate enough that he got laid and the other one... well, eventually I married him )

At what point?

The one time I have done that I was already in the relationship and it was one of the things brought up in the tirade when she dumped me.

at the first point, i would say. maybe not the exact first point that you want to, but the first point that you start to feel your interest may be reciprocated. i've been asked before, and it's sweet

(for the record, i do not ask. i pounce. usually after large quantities of vodka)

I know, I was kind of being sarky. To be honest I can't remember, the last person I kissed before my most recent (only real) relationship where we had already established it would be ok, was in 1993.

I don't, I just read the signs and if things are looking good, go for it.

quote:

Originally posted by Maeve:
May I ask - do you ask the girls if you can kiss them? Believe it or not, many women find that endearing.

Not really. It wouldn't work anyway.

Fion - how do you know your interest is reciprocated?

I've never, ever been correct in assuming interest is reciprocated, and I've had enough of looking the desperate fool for sticking my neck out.

um, again see the above re: pouncing after vodka. i wouldn't really say i'm the best person to ask.

but, speaking off the cuff, i'd say...

if every time you see each other you get on really well, or find yourself talking solely to each other to exclusion of the other people there
if she initiates conversation or meetings or asks you if you're going to some party or other
if she looks into your eyes when she talks to you/playfully touches your arm (much as i hate that phrase i cant think of a better way to phrase it)
if she laughs at your jokes even when you don't think you're being particularly funny

that's way more than enough to risk it, i'd say

Am I the only one who has that song from The Little Mermaid as an earworm?

Yeah, OK, both times I was asked it was after a date, so the "timing" was appropriate.

which song? i don't have any songs in my head..

Hypothetical situation:
You bump into a girl who was in your tutor group in college in a club. You dance with them and their friends, in a friendly kind of way, chat briefly and add them on facebook. You send a plain 'hi, how are you, have fun last night' message on their wall, but they don't reply. However, you bump into them at the same club the next week and they pull you over and grin when they see you. You talk about books and comics (having a shared appreciation of Gaiman, Pratchett and 2000 AD) and all seems agreeable. Later when dancing you say you might start coming to the club more regularly, and she says in your ear 'come and see me'. You make her laugh and a fair few times she takes you by the hand while she simply gestures to most other people. You think that because she's drunk, you don't want to make advances as you might be exploiting her, or she might regret it, and you don't want it to be a one-time thing. However, the only contact you have other than the club is Facebook, but she doesn't seem to reply very often, and you worry that all the friendliness is just that, amplified by drink. Is that being paranoid?

Syme, maybe she just doesn't remember to look on Facebook much?

Do you have her number?

Fion: I could count the first one, but that's something good friends do too - in my experience. The others don't happen to me.

Good point, but Facebook's so far the only sober contact I have. No number yet. Perhaps next time.

1) sure, it could be amplified by drink. But still, there's something there you can build on.
2) Well, go where she is likely to be and then ask her for her number!!! Dude!

yes, get the digits. then maybe you can interact with her at some point without the overwhelming influence of her buzz.

quote:

Originally posted by Maeve:
Am I the only one who has that song from The Little Mermaid as an earworm?

hell. no.

That little mermaid song... man you should see my impression of the frogs - I think I almost made Lady K pee herself laughing.

quote:

Originally posted by Syme:
Good point, but Facebook's so far the only sober contact I have. No number yet. Perhaps next time.

She may simply detest using Facebook. Get her number.

*climbs walls*