I remember my grandfather was wearing a suit with his favorite red suspenders. And an inner-spring mattress. The mattress always struck me as funny considering it was more comfortable than anything the living sleep on.

I'm not much for open caskets mainly because the only memory I have of my maternal grandmother is of her laying in her coffin. She was so beautiful. I was only 3 years old but I can still see her laying there serenely and it bothers me terribly because I want to have other memories of her. I know from a great-aunt that she was kind and loving. And I have a picture of her holding me when I was a newborne. That's about it, though.

At the same time, I agree with Circus. It does had a sort of finality to the whole ordeal.

I'm sort of flippant about death. heh. When I was 3 I lost my maternal grandfather and my paternal grandmother, and two great uncles. In 1996 I lost my paternal grandfather and my favorite great uncle. Two years ago I lost said great-uncle's wife who was the epitome of a Southern Lady; I'm still upset that my mom didn't take me out of school for her funeral. This year I lost another great aunt and her husband(whom I don't care one whit for). We have a joke in my family: when someone kicks it we're always saying, "who's next?" because they always drop in groups. lol.

As for my funeral, I want a New Orleans send off. Jazz music and a great celebration! And I want to be buried dressed in flares, flip-flops, and a tank top because Heaven'll be a BIG beach! And I want all my friends and family to each leave a little token of remembrance in my coffin. If there is an afterlife I want to be looking down at everyone telling stories, laughing, crying, and have a wonderful time. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" y'know?

~LT!~

Y'know what would be cool? One of those rotisserie-spinning things in the coffin. I mean, why should the viewing just show one side? If you're gonna dress up, let's see some of that money-maker!

Then, you could say, "X must be spinning in his/her grave" and mean it.

Yeah, but then you'd see the big slit down the back of the suit, and all the stuffing coming out.

The funerals I've gone to are not open-casket (thank goodness my family culture does not work like that at least).

What is really, really annoying for me is the process/time of it, having to be around a great many people (particularly family) and the afterwards.

For you see, it doesn't just end with us burying someone. No, on the contrary there is the shiva afterwards in which for seven days you stay in the deceased person's house with relatives and family friends offering you their condolences and generally not leaving you alone.

It becomes a potluck really. I don't really mind eating, mind you, but it just seems like in my family these things become parties or a grotesque version of a "family reunion." You know: so how's school? My grandfather just died, so shut the fuck up.

I am just a type of person who needs a lot of personal space on a general basis. There should be a law to enforce that -- that one's personal space as a human being should be respected unless they are in danger. And even then it should be under careful, considerate review.

Last year, I lost my grandfather. And have the ill-fortune of being a disengaged individual born into an enmeshed extended family. My feelings toward my grandfather were complicated at best. He was a complicated person, but in a way I felt a kinship to him -- sometimes close, sometimes not.

Even he didn't like too much of a fuss made for him. Therefore, my reactions were ... different than others. But an older, obnoxious cousin of mine heldme at the funeral. Held me, when I made it clear that I didn't want to be in a crowd, being smothered, that I needed personal space. At best, it was very patronizing.

Arrrgggh. These situations just make me feel so frustrated! I think my cousin said it best when he said that a lot of these communal mourning times seem contrived and even artificial. Heh ...just my experience.

When I die, I want to ascend into pure energy and become a god. Barring that, I want services to be quick, to the point, and have evil music play in the background. Indeed ...

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mythos,

After going to my grandfathers' two open casket funerals in October, my brother and I confirmed that we want to be cremated. The whole idea of a wake and spending numerous hours looking at a body was/is just to morbid for us.

I'd like everything and anything that can be harvested to be, and then I'd like to be used however else science sees fit. I'll have spent my life learning from the dead, it seems appropriate.

If the remainder of my body cannot be used, then hopefully human composting will have taken off and/or the "less polutants" type of cremation will be affordable...something that returns me to the earth without added chemicals in my body, and with the minimum amount of pollution.

Two of my high school buddies became doctors, and both highly recommended never donating your body to science. Licking dead body parts for money and "spleenball" were presented as reasons why.

Why would you care, though, if you're already dead?

there is a tribe that cremate their dead then turn them into some kind of soup. Then the relatives of that person drink it, this carries on throughout the ages and the soul of the dead is past on throughout the ages, past down from generation to generation.

I'm for cremation too.

Rotting in the ground kinda creeps me out, And I'm all for the ashes being scattered, the whole urn on the mantelpiece, just creeps me out, as for lockets, i've never heard of that before but super creepy.

I would like to be scattered in a forest, I'm not sure if you are supposed to scatter ashes in the sea, well legaly anyway.

I would also donate organs if i could, but as much as i'm a scientist i'm not such i could donate my body to science, all the NZ cadavers get sent to australia (to reduce the "oh my god thats my grandmother i don't want to practice dissecting her arm!"). I also have med student friends, although they are now practicing docters *shivers* thats disturbing in itself.

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Originally posted by Manxom Vroom:
Cremation's the way for me, too. I hate the thought of rotting away in a cemetary. Scatter the ashes at beach. I like that.

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Not to mention having your blood sucked down a drain pipe and replaced with embalming fluid. Everyone's seen the credits to Six Feet Under, I take it? That sickly greenish color reminds me of mouthwash and the syrup they put into slushies at theme parks. No thank you.

Cremation for me. I really, really don't like the idea of my body rotting underneath the ground.

quote:

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Y'know what would be cool? One of those rotisserie-spinning things in the coffin. I mean, why should the viewing just show one side? If you're gonna dress up, let's see some of that money-maker!

Then, you could say, "X must be spinning in his/her grave" and mean it.

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That reminds me of a They Might Be Giants song called "Exquisite Dead Guy". It starts out "Exquisite dead guy... rotating in his display case. Exquisite dead guy... I swear I saw his lips move..."

Hahaha, I <3 TMBG.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin:

quote:

Yeah, I hope 'Walker doesn't find out what I did in that mug.

You know, I'll be seeing Walker tomorrow.

For a few hundred, I'll make sure he doesn't hear about it quite yet . . .

givr him hugs for me

open casket to give everyone a chance to have some kind of closure....its important to me to have closure, so i want to give that back.....
sparkles in my hair or course!!!!!! i want leonard cohens hallelujah, tori amos's 1000 oceans, warren zevons keep me in your heart, amiee manns wise up, and the big rock candy mountain played at the visitation.
my favorite tori tshirt, a black velvet skirt and sandles. no bra or underwear, and NO SOCKS.
then i want to be cremated, and taken to concerts with my husband, only the ones i would want to go to of course.
then afterwards, a huge party, blowout!!!!! lots of food, tequila!!!no tears!!!!! celebrate knowing me!

A Great Aunt of mine just died. I didn't know her very well, and I'm fine, but it's very strange. Her children live out west, and none of them are coming to the funeral. I think this weirds me out more than the actual death. I understand that every family deals with death differently, but it really bothers me when a family tries to hide from it.
An Aunt who died a few years ago had to have a closed casket wake, due to the circumstances of her death. It was really weird not to be able to see her. I felt like I couldn't really say goodbye.
At my own passing, I definately want to have a full wake as well as a nice funeral. However, I fully expect that the brunch afterwards will be a great party.

After reading Mitford's "The American Way of Death" and several other such books several years ago, I want nothing to do with a funeral home or the funeral industry in general.

I either want to be buried under a tree in a pinewood box, sans embalming fluid or any sort of cosmetic treatment, or (more likely) cremated by someplace other than a funeral home.

I know that I won't be around to really care, but I would like it very much if a family member or friend would stay with my body throughout the process to make sure it's being done right.

I may just be a big paranoid dumb-head, but in my mind the funeral industry is--and always will be--scum. I want my loved ones to get as much of my money as possible, not some pack of greasy hucksters.

I don't see much point in caskets. I went to my friend's dad's wake. It was open casket, and I just felt a little grossed out. I mean, there was a dead guy sitting there! It was unnerving... And why do the dead need 5000 buck coffins with silk lining, expensive wood, and pillows... They're not gonna notice what they're buried in. And after it's buried, even the living won't notice what they're in...

And on what he was wearing... it was his boy scout leader uniform... and I can't say wether or not he had underwear on. I can't imagine the family, when they give the mortician the burial clothes saying: "oh, and here's his favorite pair of underwear. He requested to be buried in the boxers with little hearts on them."

quote:

Originally posted by THN:
After reading Mitford's "The American Way of Death" and several other such books several years ago, I want nothing to do with a funeral home or the funeral industry in general.

I'd just like to second this book recommendation. It's really informative, and it is also really, really funny. Jessica Mitford practiced what she preached, too - I went to her memorial meeting in London after she died, and the lobby had a little information stand run by natural/low-cost burial people!