quote:

Originally posted by Murphy (last sane man in the asylum):
my experience of dating websites is that they don't necessarily work well in of themselves, but they keep you sharp for when an opportunity arises, from the web or in the daily world.

It's this 'keep' thing I don't get. What I clearly need is to learn those skills in the first place. I think my problem is that *all* of my close friends met their partners at University, they never did 'dating'. No-one I know really knows what it is and how to do it, and certainly I don't. (by which I mean starting to talk to someone in a situation where you are both sizing the other one up as a potential romantic interest, rather than knowing them as a friend, in class or the drama soc, for several months before asking them out.) The whole experience is so nerve-wracking and artificial I can't deal with it.

I think that's why those of my friends who didn't meet people at University are still single now, years later, and probably will always be.

Well, 'dating' is a strange and highly artificial situation, and for me that's probably why dating websites are difficult. But when I say keep sharp, I mean that it helped me to just ask girls out in the flesh, and to notice anyone taking an interest in me.

So it's spotting potential and acting on it. You can't be other than you - I've met you, and I don't think 'dating' in the sense you are thinking of is the same as I am.

Just spending time chatting to new people is helping you keep sharp. So many people are oblivious to interest shown in them because they know no one ever shows interest in them, and aren't aware that they themselves are flirting. These sorts of situations help you spot stuff like that, y'know.

This reminds me of the cute girl with the Modest Mouse shirt I met on Wednesday while I was outside of my building. She came by and bummed a cigarette from me and then related that she was getting antsy in intro bio lab, so we chatted about lab for a bit and then about the election and NPR. She thanked me for the cigarette as I put mine out, which I took to mean that she was ready for the conversation to end, so I walked away. I'm wondering now if I should have said more and maybe it was a missed opportunity. Oh well. Intro Bio lab student probably means too young for me.

I dunno. I've been distrustful of my instincts lately, especially since the last girl to tell me she liked me never returned my phone call and the one before that broke up with me the next week. I've been frustrated and confused about my romantic life as of late, which I guess is the reason that I've sort of been withdrawing from the whole thing.

well, this is what i'm always talking about in 'keeping sharp'. You can't trust your instincts! Especially when you aren't feeling great about yourself, when you tend to project.

And you lose nothing by asking people out for a drink. Of all the times I've asked someone out for a drink in the past 5 years, I don't think anyone has flat out said no. At worst it's good practise.

And usually you aren't at your best when you put too much pressure on yourself. So if you do just ask people out regularly you reduce the pressure. I remember flushing madly the first few times i asked people out and stammered and all sorts. Now i'm pretty blase about it.

giving internet dating a break. it utterly broke my heart.

Who wants to give me a opinon about something by pm? its got me UTTERLY puzzled.

i will... if i can?

dittoed

quote:

So many people are oblivious to interest shown in them because they know no one ever shows interest in them, and aren't aware that they themselves are flirting. These sorts of situations help you spot stuff like that, y'know.

QFT. And I'll be quoting it to a friend of mine, too, if you don't mind, Mr. Murphy.

(*belated tacklehugs as I was away from the computer last weekend*)

::sigh:: So we did some work in pairs at improv class. We numbered off. Ones raised hands; twos were to "grab" a partner, words of the instructor. Cute girl walks over to me and pulls me by the arm, smiles and says, "Oops, I don't know if I was actually supposed to grab you." In all my suaveness, I... looked at my shoes and muttered something. I'm actually taking this class so that I can quit doing stuff like that. I obviously need it.

and then after your improv was done you smiled at her and told her you were glad she chose you? *nudge*

Hrm. Sort of. We had a fun shared moment since we were doing an exercise in which we were trying to act as each others' mirror and discovered that we could both raise an eyebrow independently of the other. She raises her right. I raise my left. We laughed about how well that worked afterwards.

Hurrah!

Ok,so,it looks like.

I got another date....

quote:

Originally posted by manydjs:
Ok,so,it looks like.

I got another date....

ok...so this is going well!...i think this could end in something.

quote:

Originally posted by manydjs:

quote:

Originally posted by manydjs:
Ok,so,it looks like.

I got another date....

ok...so this is going well!...i think this could end in something.

g'job mandy!

Uhm.

With a sexy, gated finish such as that, who could dare say no?



The funny part about that, Tongster, is that inmates are not allowed to post things online. Their websites must be maintained by people outside the penitentiary.

so... i've kind of joined okc. not entirely sure if i'm going to keep it up, as i'm not entirely sure if it's the kind of thing i'm looking for. but we'll see. i'm not really after any kind of long-term relationship (although i wouldn't run a mile if i found someone and it ended up going that way). but just looking to meet people, maybe go out for a few drinks, flirt a bit. i've never really done the whole 'dating' thing (i tend to go all out pretty quickly!) so it'll be interesting to see what happens..

so - a question. (the first of many, probably!)

someone messaged me on okc asking lots (and lots!) of questions about various parts of my profile. which at least means he's read it all, which is good.

trouble is, having read his profile there's nothing that grabs me at all.

normally, i would never just not reply, as it's rude. but on a dating website, would a reply to a message such as this be seen as a sign that things could go somewhere? would he assume that if i'm not interested i wouldn't reply?

i can tell that the etiquette of dating websites is going to mess with my head!