just wondering if anybody was ever thinking of this way how to abandon life.....I tried but it didn't work and I'm glad it did'nt....

I tried to hang myself...on an alumnium pole...no wonder I'm alive...

yeah I was just 12...so how should have I known...it's good now although...ten and 11 months older it helps...if I did it now it would work:-)

quote:

Originally posted by Agent Furious (Matt Cable GT 5.0L ):

I'll bind you in a room with Hanson playing 24/7!

There is a Hell

Don't belive in god, so there is no hell for me:-) just going to switch off....so I don't care:-) and hell is anyway better than heaven, all my freinds will be there:-)

I'm not a true atheist , I believe in nature instead of some god....it just happens and I never figured ut why should we be different from animals...thinking?What did we do with it wars....

Yeah religion moves people more than actual beloieving...if you think about some things the terrorrrist who did those attacks thought they ddi it for Allah, butr they actually sacrificed their life';s for Bin Laden, and that's what religion about ,sadly and thats what wars about, its essentially the sam e god or whatever else in different countries its just about the poeple who persuade other people to do things in a name of a god, who didn't mention anything like that in holy books....
Sorry I used that example, if it offends you just tell me I'll delete it immediatly...

I'm manic-depressive, and so have been prone to bad depressive fits at times in my life...

I've been seriously suicidal twice. My preferred method would have been booze and pills, although the second time I was ready to jump off a roof.

The second time happened to be a night that changed my life. Did a lot of thinking that night staring up at the stars, and when I got off that roof I was taking the first steps into becoming a different person.

(It also might amuse you guys to know that while I'm not sure about a belief in hell, I was looking to cheat the system, just in case. For example, I'd spend hours in the city by my school waiting for some kid to dart out into traffic so I'd have an excuse to jump out and save him before getting run over. I remember joking afterwards with a cousin of mine that afterwrads I probably would have kept standing in place, even tapping my watch as if to say to the person driving the car "Come on man, I don't have all day!")

it's an unusual week where i don't think about suicide at least a handful of times. been that way for as long as i can remember. never tried it, tho.

quote:

Originally posted by Agent Furious (Matt Cable GT 5.0L ):
Well, MY SPIN on all of it is that religion is more or less a way of controlling people.

of course it is, that's the whole point. if people were naturally inclined to do only good, religion wouldn't be necessary. but then, neither would we be really human.

I'm strange with my thinking of hell because I'm not abeliever but I more less obey the chrisitian rules and even have a couple of my own, althoguh I believe in suicide as a best way to end a life heading to nowhrere...
Ronin, that's funny but you might have saved a couple of lifes anyway!
I just believe being good helps whatever you believe in....

Not now, but as i've gone through severe depression, ive had a few months where everyday i would spend thinking about suicide.

I never got further than thinking about it, though there were a few moments.

What i feel kept me from doing the deed was purely because if i do something i do it right. If i had tried i wouldn't be here now. Also i'm athiest so imo what we have is all we get, even absolutely shitty life filled with despair is better than nothing.

And i have rung up the lifeline we have here in a moment of complete desperation. The lady i was chatting to started spouting christianity! i got so mad, well it worked i didn't feel like killing myself anymore, instead i turned my hatred onto the person down the end of the phone line. I still can't believe they actually said 'have you found jesus?'

So my advice, get angry about something, it distracts you from self loathing

Polop, I'm sorry to hear you were so troubled at the tender age of twleve.

As for suicide, I'm also Bipolar and landed myself in a mental hospital for a week when I came the closest ever to suicide; overdose on drugs was my method of choice. I've been seriously suicidal many times in my life, and if I stop taking my medications I start to think that way again, so it's very important I stay one them.

This weekend I stopped taking them and drank lots of alcohol instead, which made for a really shitty day yesterday. Thank goodness I'm back on my meds as of this morning.

I don't know what happens when we die. I follow no religion but my own. I figure we probably just die and that's the end of it, but I'd like it if reincarnation were true. I definitely don't believe in heaven or hell.

I stay suicidal even when I'm on my meds... I don't remember a day since third grade when I didn't think about suicide... never tried anything, and won't, because i don't want to upset people... and that's about all... pheuh. I'd probably be able to remember some non-suicidal days if i wasn't so depressed right now.

and in a random, quasi-related question, i'd like to ask ronin and g0ddessc0mplex and anyone else who might be in the know:

how do you tell the difference between rapid-cycling bipolar disorder and really dramatic mood swings?

quote:

Originally posted by VegaRiad:
I stay suicidal even when I'm on my meds... I don't remember a day since third grade when I didn't think about suicide... never tried anything, and won't, because i don't want to upset people... and that's about all... pheuh. I'd probably be able to remember some non-suicidal days if i wasn't so depressed right now.

*hugs for Natalie*

i am so right there with you right now.

quote:

Originally posted by Inagreyplace:

how do you tell the difference between rapid-cycling bipolar disorder and really dramatic mood swings?

Mood swings just change your mood. Bipolar changes your entire personality. At least it feels that way. You go from barely able to move, get out of bed, function at all, to unable to stop moving, talking, thinking, unable to sleep or control your impulses or tell reality from fantasy or remember what traffic lights are supposed to mean... although those last two would more likely be effects of sleep deprivation rather than mania itself. However, mania often causes the sleep deprivation to get to the point of causing dementia.

heh. i knew this even before it happened to me.

ps thanks cobalt
*hugs* to you too

aha, thank you.

yeah Gc i'm so with you there, my meds make such a difference, though i still get minor bouts of depression at that time of the month.

As for bipolar, there is a bit of a sliding scale between depression and bipolar disorder. i personally hit the mad mood swings but it never effects me to the same extent as a true bipolar, that and my swings are too quick occuring within the same day and only lasting for a few hours. At the very bipolar end of the spectrum manic episodes can last days.

that must completely suck

Inagreyplace, I am a rapid-cycler, sometimes having as many as six dramatic mood swings (or personality changes as Natalie calls it) in a single day. They range from feeling like the worst person on the planet so I should just do everyone a favor and off myself to thinking I should run for President because I'd surely win since I'm so damn awesome (delusions of grandeur). Natalie summed things up pretty well.

quote:

Originally posted by G0ddessC0mplex:
Inagreyplace, I am a rapid-cycler, sometimes having as many as six dramatic mood swings (or personality changes as Natalie calls it) in a single day. They range from feeling like the worst person on the planet so I should just do everyone a favor and off myself to thinking I should run for President because I'd surely win since I'm so damn awesome (delusions of grandeur). Natalie summed things up pretty well.

I fhave similar states on a regular basis, although if I'm happy I really enjoy (the first half of this year), but I'm ussually depressed (2 continuous years before, and sicne the end of june) and then I get the mood swings...