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Companion to owls Member  |
I can get why a predator-like person (male or female) who's in it only for the sex and uses their money ostentatiously to attract younger 'prey' can be dishusting.
However, what I find interesting here, is the notion of 'older' -urban dictionary definitions talk of around 30+. And I find it interesting because, whereas the idea of a 30+ man actively seeking 18 to 20-year-old girls for sex is slightly pathetic, I don't think it would excite the same reaction with its own term and everything. A typical sugar daddy would be, what, 50+? but a 'cougar' seems to be something between 35+? It's such a pity coz, otherwise, 'cougar' is such a cool thing to be called   |
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has no member title Member  |
That's kind of what struck me.
__ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Has no front teeth Member  |
*laughing*
I guess I'll never be a cougar. I'm an Ogg. ______________________ “Fandangling across the moony sky, went the Beezee bold as brass, side-saddle she sat, on a big painted bat, shooting moonbeams out of her a(censored)e.” ~Joe ________________________ Isn't sanity really just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy…ooh ooh ooh…the sky's the limit! |
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has no member title Member |
One day, I will be a granny who grabs young men's buttocks with the left hand and then dashes them over the head with her umbrella for being forward with her right hand.
__ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Has no front teeth Member |
Not me. I'm grabbing with both hands.
______________________ “Fandangling across the moony sky, went the Beezee bold as brass, side-saddle she sat, on a big painted bat, shooting moonbeams out of her a(censored)e.” ~Joe ________________________ Isn't sanity really just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy…ooh ooh ooh…the sky's the limit! |
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DK BOP Member  |
So a uh... more relateable question for some of us... What do you think of the guys who would let themselves be used for sex? You know, not that I know anyone who'd do that...
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Don't. Blink. Member  |
well - honestly, are they just "letting" themselves - I mean that implies no want on their part. I guess if they want sex and will have it with these women - no problem. If they have really low self esteem and are actually letting someone (anyone) use them - that's bad.
------------------------------ "I claim the capacity to doubt." - Herman Wouk ------------------------------- "They warn you about killers and thieves in night I worry about cancer and living right But my mama never warned me about my own Destructive appetite" - Jenny Lewis "Happy" |
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DK BOP Member |
Wait... So you're saying that wanting to be used for sex is... bad?
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has no member title Member |
People are there for their own sake, have their own goals and missions in life to fulfil. To use them *as a tool* for sexual satisfaction, money, to keep you from loneliness - to use anyone for a purpose that is not theirs is bad. To let other people use you to gratify their urges is also bad.
If you deal with people, deal with them for their own sakes, because they are who they are. Not because of what they can do for you. Using each other, even if it is mutual, is still using. __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Companion to owls Member |
Yes and no. On the one hand, everyone is entitled to live their sexual lives however they want. If you get your kicks out of being treated as an object (in this case), and you seek out sexual partners to that effect, that's fine by me. If you're letting yourself be sexually used because you have low self-esteem, because you erroneously perceive it as 'empowering', because you don't know better... then that's, for me, sad. I hesitate to say 'bad', but, yeah, I'd consider it something I wouldn't want anyone I love to engage in. I like people to do whatever they do out of an informed choice. |
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Oestre sparagmos! Member  |
the situation that sprung into my mind when i read that (not in relation to you personally) is that where you want to have sex with someone specific, and they just want to have sex.
if you have sex with them, wanting them and knowing that they don't really want you. are you being used? you know what you're going into. but in a way you are letting them use you. because you want something different. and going into mother mode "no good will come of it"  ____________________________________________________ Did you know? When it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen. wanted: someone to listen and respond to random opinions from a random personality. not TOO serious, please. people who think they're reeeeeeeally funny need not apply, because they so rarely are. ~ Limertilly http://www.flickr.com/photos/fionchadd/ - there are actually some photos here now (shock!) |
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Wigber Member  |
I think he really just wants to relieve hydrostatic pressure without resorting to wanking.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Black Jacque, |
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has no member title Member |
That's a very good description of using a person as a tool, then.
__ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Wigber Member |
I believe the approved term is: "sexual appliance".
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DK BOP Member |
Yeah... You guys still aren't making sense. Still not seeing the bad
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member  |
Treating people as things is bad.
A dildo is also a thing. You are a person, not a flesh and blood penetration-device: nor should you ever accept being treated as one. This is not the same thing as a consentual one-night stand with someone who treats you as a human being. ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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Companion to owls Member |
Sex is an intimate act, and even if it's only for pleasure (one-night stands or fuck buddies or whatever), you're still interacting with another human being at a very personal and vulnerable level. So there should be respect in there, an acknowledgement of the other as a human. Like, if I phone my broadband call centre about a problem with my connection, my only objective is to get it sorted -but I should still be nice to the person on the other end coz, well, there's a real phuman on the other side that's making this possible for me. |
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has no member title Member |
Yep. People have a lack of respect for people they treat as things. That's kind of the definition of treating people as things and of using people for your own ends. That you don't respect them. If there IS a mutual respect and appreciation, you are not being used. Lack of respect for people is both morally reprehensible and psychologically harmful. (And sorry for being so heavyhanded, but you did want to hear the logic behind my opinion.) If it is bad to use people, then it is *also* bad to enable other people to use people. Even if the used person happens to be you, and you feel you have a right to decide whether you get used or not. And even if you are using them back. You are enabling another person to do something morally objectionable and you are harming both your own and the other person's...let's call it approach to humanity (respect and self respect). __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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The Yam and the Horror . . . Member  |
Can someone please explain the 'fat chicks' part? I take it it means more than unattractive women who will feel glad to get any? No frigging talking lions in here Silence is argument carried on by other means. The lamp’s glow was very weak compared to the blue glow emancipating from the basement. Aaron Rayburn - The Shadow God |
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member |
<warning agry rant imminent, proceed at own risk><important note! Not intended as an attack on Jaque or anyone on this board. Unreasonable bitterness warning.>
That would be the not-so-pretty one at the back of the club, who guys talk to when they've exhausted every other possibility; and whom guys automatically assume must be "gagging for it". If she doesn't consent she's the ugly feckin' whore and gets abuse. If she does, well you got some, even though you think she looks like a sow; and you'll never speak to her again, nor would you deign to be seen with her in public. Sorry for the vindictiveness here, but as you will have gathered: this used to be me. Even the "nice guys" wouldn't talk to me: if forced to they gave me that "Ugh. Not in a million years" look. Unless ofcourse they were slobbering drunk. </warning> It usually the girls who are not judged to be "trophies". Eta: talk about your "treating people as things". ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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