Dear customers,
Don't pile the plates on the table. If you can't wait 5 minutes till I clear them for you, it's your fucking problem. If you wait 5 minutes, I'll clear the whole table in one go. If you pile the plates carelessly out of impatience, it will take me 2 or 3 journeys to the kitchen and back. It also increases the chances of me dropping food, cutlery or the plate itself somewhere along the way.
Although I appreciate that sometimes you do this to help, it is not a help at all. especially if you pile the plates, and then place the 4 glasses on top of them. that is just plain idiocy.
Also, the next time you let your kid play with the brown sauce (that you helped yourselves to, btw, even before you'd ordered any food at all) and as a result she spills the whole damn thing all over the table... you're going to fucking clean it with your tongues, you hear me?

Reminds me so much of my serving days.

Add to this the customers who try to "help" by taking things off your tray while you're holding it.
Throws the balance right off.

customers are like drivers: stupid.

a very long time ago a friend and I were at a diner and wanted more coffee, so the waitress brought the pot back. We "helped" by moving our cups to the egde of the table. She yelled at us! Well, and then she apologised, but when we said we were only trying to be helpful she said it actually wasn't the least bit helpful, in fact we almost got hot coffee poured on us!

That was why she yelled, we scared her a bit.

We said we were sorry, we never looked at it from that point of view and left her a big tip.


Since then I never get in a waitress's way! And I don't let my kid play with the ketchup/salt/pepper/sugar - um, that's incredibly rude!

Yes, sorry. My sister was a waitress for a long time, and then turned bartender. Because of that, I always tipped well, and felt-- well, not bad, but had a soft sport for the difficulties for waitresses and servers. So, I always wanted to help, but-- from the sounds of it, by not helping-- is the most help?

Dear Work Muckymuck,

Please stop blowing off your requests for advertising materials, and pushing your deparate printers onto me THE DAY BEFORE THEY NEED THE ARTWORK!

Damn!

-and of course I'll get it done on time...

just means your other projects get moved further down the pile.


grr.

Hello, Owner of My Company?

Pay your bills. Please. Because when you don't pay your bills, bad stuff happens like carriers don't pick-up stuff that they are scheduled to pick up because they are still waiting to get paid by you, and clients get mad because they are waiting for us to pick up their stuff, and then they use our competitor and then I don't get commissions.

Oh, and please don't place the blame on our ex-collections person. She quit because you were so shitty to her and you gave her mixed messages on how she was supposed to do her job and when she finally did give her two weeks, you turned around and fired her, being the stupid impulsive cock that you are.

The reason our business is at a stand still is because you don't think things through: if you want this company to grow, you had better be prepared to pay for it's growth. It is no one's fault but your own, and you aren't even around to face the music.

Have fun on you vacation (oh, and incidentally, that money you spent on it could probably have gone into paying your busienss expenses).

You schmuck,

Al

this isn't really my workplace anymore, but i was just reminded of it:

this summer i worked in retail, and one of the things i did was giftwrapping for customers. it was usually my favorite part of the job, because when i got up form the basement the customers would ooh and ahh over the giftwrapping as if i had just painted them their own copy of the mona lisa.

except for this one lady. she bought a couple of bird books, and two little stained glass hanging things, one of a cat and one of a lilac, and told me she wanted them wrapped for her sister. so i brought them downstairs, and picked out a wrapping paper. we have two ways that we wrap things - one is kind of a rustic look, in a burlap sack tied with raffia-straw and with leaves and stuff on it, and the other is with wrapping paper and such. i almost always used the burlap style, becuase it was more unisex and nature-y and so forth, and we tended to sell odd-shaped items, but this woman was buying the purple glass flower, and a munch of square books and boxes, so i figured that i'd go with the purple flower wrapping paper. i did it up all nice with a bow and curled ribbons and such, and brought it upstairs -

- and the woman YELLED at me! she started bitching about how she thought i was going to do it up all rustic and her sister HATES flowers (to which i had to bite back the response of "then why the fuck are you buying her a flower thing?!") and she didn't want it. so i told her i'd go down and redo it, i didn't relaize she wanted it done such a way, i'd be right back.

and here's the kicker - when i went downstairs with it, she asked to see my manager and asked if maybe there wasn't someone else who could wrap the gift since i obviously didn't know what i was doing.

bitch.

happens all the time, people thinking I don't know what I'm doing...

they ask me a question (do you sell XYZ), to which I answer that no we don't. I'm a dept. manager, I know perfectly well what we sell and don't sell. e.g., it's a crafts store, we don't sell heavy diy stuff. there's lowe's for that. so then they go ask the people up front, who are only cashiers and have no clues about what exactly we do or do not have, and so they call me to answer the question. when I get there I usually get the "he doesn't know anything" treatment. obviously if we don't sell what they want it's because I'm ignorant.

Oh and people: we're a corporation with over 800 stores, so it's really not up to me to decide what exactly we will sell, how much it will cost you, what time we will close, or when I will be restocking shelves. Assholes.

oh my god i work with CHILDREN. children who can unfortunately drink, drive and vote legally. but yet they can't manage NOT to fuck up orders 75% of the time tonight.

oh my god i wanted to KILL!

nothing is better than working a solid week on something then having it sent back to you, with a little sticky note saying, "Ooops, we really didn't need this done"

My sales department-

Picky client- "There's supposed to be ice water with this order. And French Roast coffee. Where's the French Roast?"
(order sheet shows neither of these things)

Sales person- "Well, I just assumed that ice water came with everything, so I didn't put in in. French Roast coffee? I didn't really think there was a difference between that and regular so I didn't put it down."

WTF?

Deans office (VIP of the VIP's) orders lunches to be picked up last week.....different sales person puts it in for the wrong day.
Today the order for the same office said 1:30 pick up. Was supposed to be 11:30....think it was ready? nooooooooo

sales person says "Well, the contract we have says 1:30 (note: it's a misprint on his part) and they signed it so it's not our problem."

Bet I'm gonna MAKE it his problem.

He was probably feeling put-upon because he came into work today to find voicemails from us letting him know he had neglected to put room numbers on a couple of orders.

Again.

I had an amazingly good and productive day at work today. Oh wait- it's Monday on a dark week (ie, no ad flyer, no coupon), so there were no customers. That must be why.

The next person who takes it upon themselves to ask me my age, and then argues with me about it is getting the death of a thousand cuts inflicted by receipt roll. I mean it.

I know how old I am.
Really.

that's just... odd.

Yeah. We have a lot of odd.

quote:

The next person who takes it upon themselves to ask me my age, and then argues with me about it is getting the death of a thousand cuts inflicted by receipt roll. I mean it.

Just out of curiosity Mary, do they usually think you are younger or older? (I'm guessing younger). I ask because I've often gone through the same, with people commonly assuming I'm as much as a decade older than I really am.

(And depending on my mood, the look of shock on their faces can be either really amusing or irritating).

Younger. Anything from five to eight years younger. I'll be grateful one day, I suppose.

Yah, I've had both many friends, and an ex or two who look much younger than they were. Some at 25 would be asked if they were old enough to be working legally... I'm sure hearing that day after day gets quite irksome.

I don't mind them asking. Its following it up with 'Really? Are you sure?' that induces the urge to smack...

Suprise is fine. But I'm hardly going to lie about my age at work...