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Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
*sends job vibes Matt-wards* (sorry, but that still sounds wrong) Smile



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Assistant *fwap*er
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Picture of Giabow
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Amy told me about the resume you've sent out, Matt. I hope you get the job. *hugs*


********************************
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not so sure about the turnip.
~~ Terry Pratchett
 
Posts: 25462 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 21, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is tired of these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane
Member
Picture of general punk, MA
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i'm so tired. its painful.


High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination,
Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple.
-scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav
-Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella
-The key thing to remember about historians is that we are entirely capable of being objective, empirical and batshit crazy. ~ Dr. Marvinmarymac
 
Posts: 29254 | Location: Somewhereshire | Registered: January 05, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Doughmaster
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Picture of TheatreGeek
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*hugs the silly punk*


~ Non-Mod-Amy, aka Amy of the Lost Ark

You are a Bookholder. To prompt, or...LINE! (not to prompt) --not to prompt. That is the question. Whether t'is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of a bad memory, or to take arms against a sea of textual deviations, and...LINE! (by opposing) --by opposing them...LINE! (end) --end...LINE! (them) --end them...LINE! (to prompt, to correct; no more; and by a correction to say we end the heart-ache of a really terrible performance) You didn't have to give me the whole thing! I know it!
 
Posts: 11747 | Location: Michigan | Registered: August 15, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Goofy Beast
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Picture of Thirith & His Enormous Tibia
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Just putting the finishing touches on a big project proposal. I put in what I believe to be realistic yet ambitious success criteria; the bosses put in what I *know* to be wildly unrealistic success criteria, and they actually believe we can reach them... and they won't be happy until the numbers are massaged so we can fool ourselves that we've met the targets.

Which wouldn't be too bad - but I'm the one who has to get this proposal by the Executive Board, i.e. I have to sell something that I believe to be phony, at least in part. The alternative is that I say I won't do it, and then my boss will present it. She's bad at presenting things, she believes in feelings over anything else (which rarely works if you're asking for £3'000'000 over the next three years), so if she does it the project may very well not go through. So either I represent something I have big problems with or I let someone else do an inferior job.

You gotta love double-binds...


__________
We scraped along like rats, but now we will soar like eagles... eagles on pogo sticks!
 
Posts: 10887 | Location: Switzerland | Registered: September 05, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
has no member title
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Picture of His Noodle Girl
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difficult.
if you manage to get the proposal through and you fail to reach the targets...will there be damage?


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
 
Posts: 15475 | Location: Bouncing round in bathrooms! | Registered: October 19, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Goofy Beast
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Picture of Thirith & His Enormous Tibia
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Well, it might just mean that they'll stop giving us money at some point because we didn't do what we claimed we would do.

Or, more likely, the numbers will be re-interpreted beyond recognition so we can say that we actually met the targets. I.e. we have 10,000 hits on our website (results added up for all pages) --> we have 10,000 people who have visited our website --> there's been meaningful interaction with 10,000 people --> we've had a positive impact on the views of 10,000 people, and they're better for having engaged with us, yay team!


__________
We scraped along like rats, but now we will soar like eagles... eagles on pogo sticks!
 
Posts: 10887 | Location: Switzerland | Registered: September 05, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
has been eaten by a grue.
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wow, that's...hell, you should be in politics!


~ fLame Woosh ~
Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and
Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation
 
Posts: 7134 | Location: the gloaming | Registered: November 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Goofy Beast
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Picture of Thirith & His Enormous Tibia
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I obviously forgot the rant part of my post... Actually, I despise doing that sort of thing, which is why I am not a big fan of the big, shiny numbers my superiors have put in the success criteria. I think we do great projects, but having to fictionalise the results is unprofessional, dishonest and forces other projects to do the same thing ("Hey, project X reaches millions! Why do you only reach 10,000?").


__________
We scraped along like rats, but now we will soar like eagles... eagles on pogo sticks!
 
Posts: 10887 | Location: Switzerland | Registered: September 05, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
has been eaten by a grue.
Member
Picture of Apathy
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internet sarcasm is hard to read. it's okay; I'm not trying to say that I approve of this sort of thing, either.


~ fLame Woosh ~
Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and
Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation
 
Posts: 7134 | Location: the gloaming | Registered: November 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Biscuitkeeper
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Picture of Matt Cable
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Sent out two more last night.


________________________________________________
I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me.
 
Posts: 10767 | Location: Michigan | Registered: April 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
little. yellow. different
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If any fucker asks me to do one more gigantic piece of ball-aching work at the last possible minute because I should have been psychic and realised that their function existed and known they were planning to do some public facing work I will put them through the nearest plate glass window.


__________________________________________________________

Oh you young people. It's all tea and muffins and excitement in your world I expect.
 
Posts: 3190 | Location: Wolverton, Buckinghamshire, UK | Registered: August 15, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Biscuitkeeper
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Picture of Matt Cable
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Everything is just pissing me off today. Not really sure why.


________________________________________________
I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me.
 
Posts: 10767 | Location: Michigan | Registered: April 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Goofy Beast
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Picture of Thirith & His Enormous Tibia
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Warning: toilet talk.

We share our toilets at work with the offices on the second floor, and there's one guy who works there... I don't know. He must have some sort of illness, because I can't believe that it's poor hygiene. After all, if he works upstairs he must have quite a high-up job, and that's something that usually doesn't go hand in hand with a complete lack of personal hygiene.

In any case: when he's been to the bathroom, the stench in there is unbelievable. It's not a digestive thing. He's simply got body odor that is incredibly vile. It feels tangible. I never thought I'd be able to hold my breath that long, but it's either that or not go to the loo.

Remember Foul Ol' Ron and his stench? That's basically what it's like.


__________
We scraped along like rats, but now we will soar like eagles... eagles on pogo sticks!
 
Posts: 10887 | Location: Switzerland | Registered: September 05, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Assistant *fwap*er
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Picture of Giabow
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*grump*

Annoyed at co-workers. The teachers should not be allowed to work at the front desk.

Also do not thing it's my job to co-ordinate car-pooling between my boss's family and one of the students. Student's mother should be e-mailing boss directly.


********************************
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not so sure about the turnip.
~~ Terry Pratchett
 
Posts: 25462 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 21, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rumble Fish
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sent from our Quality Lead. the Professor Umbridge woman.
quote:
Seven quick ways to sharpen your rapport
For starters, try some immediate ways to begin building rapport:

Take a genuine interest in getting to know what's important to the other person. Start to understand them rather than expecting them to understand you first.
Pick up on the key words, favourite phrases and way of speaking that someone uses and build these subtly into your own conversation.
Notice how someone likes to handle information. Do they like lots of details or just the big picture? As you speak, feed back information in this same portion size.
Breathe in unison with them.
Look out for the other person's intention "” their underlying aim "” rather than what they do or say. They may not always get it right, but expect their heart to lie in the right place.
Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed.
Respect the other person's time, energy, favourite people and money. They will be important resources for them.

does she realize we're phone support???
also, "Breathe in unison"???
what?
 
Posts: 3140 | Location: amongst the stacks | Registered: May 08, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
has no member title
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Picture of His Noodle Girl
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Breathing in unison does help. Very NLP, though.
Besides, you'd have to breathe pretty audibly on the phone...


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
 
Posts: 15475 | Location: Bouncing round in bathrooms! | Registered: October 19, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rumble Fish
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i honestly can never hear my customers breathing.
also i think Prof. Umbridge just pulled this tip-list out of the Internet and didn't read it first because honestly... "Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed."
on the phone.
 
Posts: 3140 | Location: amongst the stacks | Registered: May 08, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
has no member title
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yeah I think that's one for the wastepaper basket.


__
I like it maybe 63 percent!
 
Posts: 15475 | Location: Bouncing round in bathrooms! | Registered: October 19, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lexis Nexus
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Picture of St.CountZero
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um, if I could hear somebody's breathing over the phone, I'd be kind of creeped out.


----------------------------
Adept of the Burning Chrome
 
Posts: 16373 | Registered: December 22, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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