Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Workplace rants
www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Workplace rants|
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The Biscuitkeeper Member  |
Sent out a resume and cover letter last night.
It's a start. I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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Miss Kitty Fantastico Member  |
*sends job vibes Matt-wards* (sorry, but that still sounds wrong)
 I would have thought the end of the world is everyone's responsibility, wouldn't you? ~Death in Thief of Time Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies. |
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Assistant *fwap*er Member  |
Amy told me about the resume you've sent out, Matt. I hope you get the job. *hugs*
******************************** The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not so sure about the turnip. ~~ Terry Pratchett |
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is part of the international oatmeal conspiracy Member  |
i'm so tired. its painful.
High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination, Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple. scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella |
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The Doughmaster Member  |
*hugs the silly punk*
~ Non-Mod-Amy, aka Amy of the Lost Ark You are a Bookholder. To prompt, or...LINE! (not to prompt) --not to prompt. That is the question. Whether t'is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of a bad memory, or to take arms against a sea of textual deviations, and...LINE! (by opposing) --by opposing them...LINE! (end) --end...LINE! (them) --end them...LINE! (to prompt, to correct; no more; and by a correction to say we end the heart-ache of a really terrible performance) You didn't have to give me the whole thing! I know it! |
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Goofy Beast Member  |
Just putting the finishing touches on a big project proposal. I put in what I believe to be realistic yet ambitious success criteria; the bosses put in what I *know* to be wildly unrealistic success criteria, and they actually believe we can reach them... and they won't be happy until the numbers are massaged so we can fool ourselves that we've met the targets.
Which wouldn't be too bad - but I'm the one who has to get this proposal by the Executive Board, i.e. I have to sell something that I believe to be phony, at least in part. The alternative is that I say I won't do it, and then my boss will present it. She's bad at presenting things, she believes in feelings over anything else (which rarely works if you're asking for £3'000'000 over the next three years), so if she does it the project may very well not go through. So either I represent something I have big problems with or I let someone else do an inferior job. You gotta love double-binds... |
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has no member title Member  |
difficult.
if you manage to get the proposal through and you fail to reach the targets...will there be damage? __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Goofy Beast Member |
Well, it might just mean that they'll stop giving us money at some point because we didn't do what we claimed we would do.
Or, more likely, the numbers will be re-interpreted beyond recognition so we can say that we actually met the targets. I.e. we have 10,000 hits on our website (results added up for all pages) --> we have 10,000 people who have visited our website --> there's been meaningful interaction with 10,000 people --> we've had a positive impact on the views of 10,000 people, and they're better for having engaged with us, yay team! |
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has been eaten by a grue. Member |
wow, that's...hell, you should be in politics!
~ We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But...babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. ~ Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation |
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Goofy Beast Member |
I obviously forgot the rant part of my post... Actually, I despise doing that sort of thing, which is why I am not a big fan of the big, shiny numbers my superiors have put in the success criteria. I think we do great projects, but having to fictionalise the results is unprofessional, dishonest and forces other projects to do the same thing ("Hey, project X reaches millions! Why do you only reach 10,000?").
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has been eaten by a grue. Member |
internet sarcasm is hard to read. it's okay; I'm not trying to say that I approve of this sort of thing, either.
~ We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But...babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. ~ Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member |
Sent out two more last night.
I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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little. yellow. different Member  |
If any fucker asks me to do one more gigantic piece of ball-aching work at the last possible minute because I should have been psychic and realised that their function existed and known they were planning to do some public facing work I will put them through the nearest plate glass window.
__________________________________________________________ Oh you young people. It's all tea and muffins and excitement in your world I expect. |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member |
Everything is just pissing me off today. Not really sure why.
I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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Goofy Beast Member |
Warning: toilet talk.
We share our toilets at work with the offices on the second floor, and there's one guy who works there... I don't know. He must have some sort of illness, because I can't believe that it's poor hygiene. After all, if he works upstairs he must have quite a high-up job, and that's something that usually doesn't go hand in hand with a complete lack of personal hygiene. In any case: when he's been to the bathroom, the stench in there is unbelievable. It's not a digestive thing. He's simply got body odor that is incredibly vile. It feels tangible. I never thought I'd be able to hold my breath that long, but it's either that or not go to the loo. Remember Foul Ol' Ron and his stench? That's basically what it's like. |
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Assistant *fwap*er Member |
*grump*
Annoyed at co-workers. The teachers should not be allowed to work at the front desk. Also do not thing it's my job to co-ordinate car-pooling between my boss's family and one of the students. Student's mother should be e-mailing boss directly. ******************************** The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not so sure about the turnip. ~~ Terry Pratchett |
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Wigber Member  |
sent from our Quality Lead. the Professor Umbridge woman.
does she realize we're phone support??? also, "Breathe in unison"??? what? ____________________________ Future First Lady of Cyberspace Green Robot World the Canadian half of Minobot! |
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has no member title Member |
Breathing in unison does help. Very NLP, though.
Besides, you'd have to breathe pretty audibly on the phone... __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Wigber Member |
i honestly can never hear my customers breathing.
also i think Prof. Umbridge just pulled this tip-list out of the Internet and didn't read it first because honestly... "Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed." on the phone. ____________________________ Future First Lady of Cyberspace Green Robot World the Canadian half of Minobot! |
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has no member title Member |
yeah I think that's one for the wastepaper basket.
__ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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