would you ever be romantically involved with someone who had paid for sex?


i have not...and i don't anyone who has...and i never would. that doesn't mean that i don't have sexually adventurous friends who have done a number of things that i probably wouldn't...but even they have never gone down that route.

I have some few friends who do, or at least pretend they have. It's an image thing in some circles. You know, go to this swanky place and spend a fortune on champagne and girls. *shrug*

quote:

would you ever be romantically involved with someone who had paid for sex?

Why wouldn't you get romantically involved with someone who had paid for sex?

Assuming aids test etc.

because they have put themselves in a situation of far greater sexual risk for disease than the average person...and if i was with someone who constantly required AIDs testing, i would feel very uncomfortable. besides, AIDs is not the only STD out there...herpes, chlamidya, HPV, gonorrhea and even syphilis are on the rise. there was a recent study which showed that STD rates among young adults in the US (18-25) were the highest in the world. not that i am consorting with any men in that age range, but it is still a worrisome statistic.

Well I wouldn't want to be with someone who was still visiting prostitutes. I want a guy for myself.

But just because someone got himself professionally serviced at some point in the past doesn't mean he still "constantly requires aids testing".

so once unclean, always unclean?

How very... judgemental of you.

i have a friend who used to be a prostitute. I've never been involved with her, but that is more to do with location and circumstances than any revulsion on my part.
She was damaged by her profession, but she is a sweetheart. And in her judgement, most of the guys who visited her weren't sleazy or nasty, just normal people. Some she became friends with.
And she's been very careful who she tells about her past - including her boyfriends, for fear of unreasonable and judgemental reactions like yours.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who was *currently* paying for sex, or is having sex with anyone else at the time i am seeing them, but that's not the same as writing off people for their past.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mischief the enigmatic Polarbear,

I would also like to state, just in case anyone wants to treat me like an untouchable right away and get it over with, that I would have no compunctions about hiring a callboy if I weren't in a relationship and was out of sex.

Naturally, it would depend on a lot of factors, but I'm quite pleased that the option exists and is legal where I live.

I don't think there is any difference in safety terms between someone who has a lot of sex with a lot of different people and is paid for it, and someone who has a lot of sex with a lot of different people and isn't paid. If I am planning to be involved with them, it is their attitude, actions and responsibility towards their health (and mine) now, rather than before I met them, that matters. And, as others have said, whether they were willing to be monogamous with me.

There is, of course, the issue of whether people who have worked in the sex industry are somehow psychologically damaged in some way - and I think plenty are, for various reasons (and I think cause and effect work both ways).

Well, doesn't it rather depend on the circumstances?
I mean some people who have worked in the sex-industry may have some issues. But 1 out of 4 women has suffered some sort of abuse during her lifetime, and has issues because of it.
ETA: I am *not* equating the two by the way.
(I shall try to find the statistics, but as i'm in a hurry bear with me) This doesn't necissarily impede a normal healthy relationship. Nor does it imply STD's.

At my age, there's hardly any guy who hasn't had a couple of lovers. Whether they were paid for or no, is of little relevance. (because legal protitutes here *always* use protection, and informal flings might *not*, i'd be inclined to be less worried about them having visited a prostitute.)

So the question is: will he/she let themselves be tested. If no, no deal. If yes? Well, just don't tell me about your sexual escapades at length .

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Pumpkifins,

well...i have been lucky enough to enter into relationships with men whom i know well, who are honest and whom i trust enough not to be tested...mostly because they have had limited experience prior to me. i'm not going to reveal how many partners i have had...but in three cases, i was only the second woman with whom my partner had been intimate...and methods of "prevention" have always been utilized. in the one glaring example which occurred against my will...i was terrified of having been given an STD...because i knew that the person had been very indiscriminate in terms of his sexual partners. i am extremely wary of men who have been intimate with large numbers of women. it's not that i discriminate against people who have extensive sexual histories...but would i choose to sleep with someone who had been a "callboy"?
to be honest...no...that information would always be in the back of my mind. and as i stated before, i do have friends who have been sexually adventurous. some have participated in menage a trois...or menage a quatre relationships...with men and women. one of my friends (she is also a former co-worker of mine) is the most sexually free person i have ever encountered...she has taken part in orgies and sex parties...and i have no problem being her friend. but if i wanted to experiment with a woman...i wouldn't choose her as my partner...and she knows that. i guess if i did fall in love with someone who had an extensive sexual past...he would really have to convince me that he would never revert to any of his past behaviors and cheat on me. because that i would never tolerate or forgive...no one has ever dared to be unfaithful to me...because they are aware that it would be the end of the relationship.

Girl, so far you've been mixing three different things.
1) Do you know someone who slept with a prostitute or have you done so yourself
2) Would you have a romantic relationship with someone who slept with a prostitute
3) Would you have a romantic relationship with a prostitute.


It's like you keep changing track.
What *do* you mean?

I don't know if I'd want an ex-callboy as my boyfriend. But that's chiefly because I don't know whether he wouldn't be...hm...bitter or have a weird attitude to sex or something. And like Punkyfins says it depends on the situation and the person. I wouldn't exclude it, at any rate.

yep
moving the goalposts isn't making your position any clearer.

Does springing for a pizza count?

quote:

Originally posted by Babylon the Bride:
Girl, so far you've been mixing three different things.
1) Do you know someone who slept with a prostitute or have you done so yourself
2) Would you have a romantic relationship with someone who slept with a prostitute
3) Would you have a romantic relationship with a prostitute.


It's like you keep changing track.
What *do* you mean?

I don't know if I'd want an ex-callboy as my boyfriend. But that's chiefly because I don't know whether he wouldn't be...hm...bitter or have a weird attitude to sex or something. And like Punkyfins says it depends on the situation and the person. I wouldn't exclude it, at any rate.

well...maybe i am asking too many different questions at once. i guess i am just wondering how common sleeping with a prostitute is...because obviously there are a lot of men doing it. and i wouldn't want to be involved with a man who did or was...not only from a perspective on possible health risks...but because i question the reason why he would seek out a sex worker in the first place. i guess i would feel the same way if a person had slept with a porn star or, perhaps to a lesser degree, a stripper. because i believe that those women are choosing to degrade themselves sexually for material gain. and i really think that what they do contributes to the exploitation of women.

quote:

because i believe that those women are choosing to degrade themselves sexually for material gain. and i really think that what they do contributes to the exploitation of women.

Girl, that's making my stomach turn. I'm bowing out of the discussion.

Having sex with a protitue/callboy does NOT equate having STDs or being unfaithful.
Having an 'extensive sexual past' (how would that be defineD? How many partners make your sex life 'extensive'?) does NOT mean you're going to be unfaithful to your partner.

If I met a guy who thought I'd slept with a lot of guys (I don't think I have but standards are subjective) and needed 'convingin' thta I wouldn't be unfaithful... Well, I just ouldn't want to get together with a guy that seems to think that a more varied sexual life than whatever he thinks normal make sme into a raving nympho.


As for getting involved with someone who'd paid for sex... It depends. If it's someone who went to the sleazy brothel where 17 year-old Nigerian women are being sold for 30€ until they die (which happens, and a lot, where I come from), then that's a no-no. Because I wouldn't be able to respect someone who had no remorse in fucking another human being.
But, if it happened as a relationship-transaction between equals, then I'd have no problem. (Which, in prostitution, is rarely the case wher eit's ilegal, which is why I might have a bit of prejudice against someone who had paid for sex, but if this was a perosn I wa sintereste din as a partner or friend, I'd probably ask and question them to know more and decide for myself.)

Having a partner who'd been a callboy... I don't know. I might, I might not. In this case, I think my biggest issue would be whether he thought I was good enough in bed.

quote:

Originally posted by Babylon the Bride:

quote:

because i believe that those women are choosing to degrade themselves sexually for material gain. and i really think that what they do contributes to the exploitation of women.

Girl, that's making my stomach turn. I'm bowing out of the discussion.

so you don't think prostitutes, porn stars or strippers are exploiting themselves? and that the results aren't hurtful to women in general?
i would disagree...especially because the majority of women practicing those professions were sexually abused and traumatized at young ages. porn stars such as Traci Lords and Jenna Jamison have written autobiographies substantiating that. and it's a slippery slope from being a stripper to becoming a porn star or a prostitute.

quote:

Originally posted by cloverheart:
Having sex with a protitue/callboy does NOT equate having STDs or being unfaithful.
Having an 'extensive sexual past' (how would that be defineD? How many partners make your sex life 'extensive'?) does NOT mean you're going to be unfaithful to your partner.

If I met a guy who thought I'd slept with a lot of guys (I don't think I have but standards are subjective) and needed 'convingin' thta I wouldn't be unfaithful... Well, I just ouldn't want to get together with a guy that seems to think that a more varied sexual life than whatever he thinks normal make sme into a raving nympho.


As for getting involved with someone who'd paid for sex... It depends. If it's someone who went to the sleazy brothel where 17 year-old Nigerian women are being sold for 30€ until they die (which happens, and a lot, where I come from), then that's a no-no. Because I wouldn't be able to respect someone who had no remorse in fucking another human being.
But, if it happened as a relationship-transaction between equals, then I'd have no problem. (Which, in prostitution, is rarely the case wher eit's ilegal, which is why I might have a bit of prejudice against someone who had paid for sex, but if this was a perosn I wa sintereste din as a partner or friend, I'd probably ask and question them to know more and decide for myself.)

Having a partner who'd been a callboy... I don't know. I might, I might not. In this case, I think my biggest issue would be whether he thought I was good enough in bed.

what do i define as an extensive sexual past?
well...i wouldn't even consider someone who has been with more than 20 partners. and it wouldn't matter if that person practiced safe sex each and every time. but that's only my opinion...and people can accuse me of not being open-minded or whatever...but i'm honest about it. and it shouldn't really matter how i feel about it...since i'm not looking for a sexual relationship with anyone from here.

it's a good thing honesty excuses prejudice, then.

oh...

wait.

it's not prejudice...it's personal preference.
if you said to me that you only choose to date virgins...well, i wouldn't have a problem with that...because it's your decision.
and i wouldn't take offense because i am not a virgin.