Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS The Dread of Numbers - Sex Wise..
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really is wicked Member  |
I was talking with my friends the other day about the number of people we've slept with.
Me, I'm planning on upping my numbers somewhat, cos I feel it's about time and cos I just want to. My friends don't want to up their numbers any more. They've just entered into double figures, and they never thought there was anything wrong with that until other men decided to tell them so. I tried telling them that it all depends on the man in question. I know many men who don't care one jot about numbers. My friends tell me different, and have come into arguments with boyfriends over how many people they've slept with. So, what's your view? How many is too many? Is there such a thing as too many? Is it one rule for one, and another rule for the other? Personally, I think that numbers don't mean anything. You could sleep with thousands of people and be as happy as larry, or you could sleep with 4 and be deverstated. It's alllll in the mind. ----------------------------- St.Barbarella: Sexy Tart. Buys Ale, Reads Books, And Really Enjoys Leaving Lovers Aching - JP yes, University is all about incontinence - Mythos You are a Tradesman. Long before labor unions, your guilds were powerful enough to make a free-market capitalist run away screaming. Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? You do, you do. |
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has no member title Member  |
Lol - it's like your CV.
If you change jobs very often at short intervalls, you'll need to explain it.  But in some industries, rapid switches are normal, in others you stay int he same company for the rest of your life. Depends. __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member  |
Hmmmm. Talking numbers makes me uncomfortable...
But okay. What counts? I'm reminded of the *immortal* dialogue between Victoria and Dante in the movie "Clerks". I'll see if i can look it up. So. What do you count? Just *sex* sex? Or oral, or what? ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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has no member title Member |
A wise US-American once said: "It isn't sex if you didn't impale".
*nods* __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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his colours are like your dream Member  |
but i'm sure i've had sex without penetration... I just can't go with Clinton on this one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hyperbole is, without a shadow of doubt, the single greatest thing in the universe! |
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member |
*laughs*
I'll probably not get away with a "Not enough to be jaded" type comment? ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member |
The dialogue i was referring to:
~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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Member |
well...if you are going to have a rule about it...then it should work both ways...that means it should hold for both sexes. and i don't understand why people make distinctions about sexual acts...oral sex is sex...vaginal intercourse is sex...and anal sex is sex. all of it counts if you are going to count. what i really think is ludicrous is women who claim that they are virgins...since they have never had vaginal intercourse...but who have engaged in oral and anal sex. once you have had sex of any kind, you are no longer a virgin.
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Pirate/Zombie/Hero Member  |
BWHAHAHAHA!!!
Punkyfins, I LOVE that dialogue. Goes right to the heart of the matter! The definition of sex makes a big difference in my numbers. I have slept with/had sex with one person. But I've fooled around with a number of people. *shrug* I did what was fun and didn't risk me getting pregnant. |
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Miss Kitty Fantastico Member  |
Jena - I had much the same experience - my first real boyfriend was too afraid that his mum or mine would find condoms and so he was a bit more creative... and handy.
 I gotta say though, I thought this thread was about something completely other - I read it as being afraid to have a threesome. yes, I know I have a filthy mind. I would have thought the end of the world is everyone's responsibility, wouldn't you? ~Death in Thief of Time Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies. |
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member |
<snippet> ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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Companion to owls Member  |
Whenever people ask/talk about 'how many people you've slept with' I tend to count 'sex' as 'with penetration', but that doesn't necessarily correspond with the way I think of it.
It is difficult, coz there's the 'fool around' sex (like, for example, when you're younger and have nowehere to go and you kind of do whatever you can wherever you can, and that does not include penetration but can include oral sex, or masturbating, but sometimes it's a long session like at a friend's house or short events in a dark alley...) and then when you're older, but you still don't do penetration (no condoms, you have your period, whatever). I tend not to regard the first one as 'have sex with', maybe coz I didn't consider it sex at the time. When I was a teenager, sex was penetration and everything else was 'stuff' (as in 'And when we started snogging, we went outside to this place and we did stuff'). Later, sex is anything that involves interaction with at least one person's genitals (broad definition of mine). If I had to count people I'd had sex with, I find that I do include one guy I went to bed relatively recently with but never had penetrative sex, but I don't include any of the guys from my teenage years where exactly the same things happened. As you can see, I think numbers are bullshit. The only time I've ever asked a guy how many girls he'd had sex with was my first time, because I wanted to be reassured he kew what he was doing. He didn't, btw, but that's another story. Only once has a guy asked me how many guys I've slept with. I wasn't offended, coz this was a shag-buddy and we talking about sexual past and stuff just to know each other better, and what we liked and stuff, in a relaxed way. I gave him the rough number of 9-10 (see loose criteria, above). He didn't comment whether he thought that a lot or too little, and I never asked him what he thought or how many girls he'd slept with. If he'd said 'OH MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH A WHORE!' or 'OH MY GOOD YOU'RE PRACTCALLY A VIRGIN I'M WASTING MY TIME WITH YOU!!' I'd have replied something along the lines of 'Hey, you don't want to stay, then don't, but don't fucking preach me, ok?'. And I have no idea what would be 'normal'. I have observed the number of sexual partners people sleep with, in my social circles, is more influenced by chance and the amount of long-term relationships people have throughout the years than an actual wish of having a lot/few lovers.  |
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Believe it or not, he really is walking on air Member  |
I guess in some sense, numbers don't matter much to me. It would have to get really, really high (Wilt Chamberlain high, I think) before I'd balk, and I don't really feel it's any business of mine anyway. On the other hand, I'd rather not know the actual number, because however much I maintain it doesn't matter, if I learn the person I'm dating had sex with 36 guys, my mind, being how it is, will instantly construct a montage of 36 sexual acts performed by her and 36 guys way hotter than me. It's not enough to emotionally scar me, but it's still an exercise I'd rather avoid. I'm from a WASP family; suspension of disbelief is part of our way of life.
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his colours are like your dream Member |
It is all in the mind, as st. barb said in the first post...
And while i understand the meaning of 'upping the numbers' i don't quite go with that as a phrase, cos it does imply numbers are important. I like Sir John Betjamin's pov... when asked if he had any regrets he said 'not enough sex'. so it's ammount of sex rather than ammount of partners. And on that basis i'm lagging (not having a WOG on tap!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hyperbole is, without a shadow of doubt, the single greatest thing in the universe! |
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really is wicked Member |
Yeah, whatever you count as 'sex' can be different for everyone.
(Though the whole 'penerative' aspect to sex reminds me of another Kevin Smith quote from Chasing Amy, where Amy makes some comment about how guys always site proper sex as being penertrated) I was just annoyed at how my friends were made to feel that their numbers were bad in any way, because of what other men had said. When one of my friends told her boyfriend she had had a one night stand, he retorted with "Oh my god, how could you do that? I feel I don't know you any more!" Which just goes to show two completly clashing ideas about sex. And I'm not even using the general argument of "well, if you enjoyed it, then numbers don't mean anything" cos we're all human and we all make mistakes, so who cares if there are people on your list you'd rather wern't there? ----------------------------- St.Barbarella: Sexy Tart. Buys Ale, Reads Books, And Really Enjoys Leaving Lovers Aching - JP yes, University is all about incontinence - Mythos You are a Tradesman. Long before labor unions, your guilds were powerful enough to make a free-market capitalist run away screaming. Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? You do, you do. |
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Poster of the year, 2007 Member  |
*de-lurks* Whatsa WOG? I googled it but I still can't figure it out. *returns to lurk status* ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ . . ~ Weeble Song! Sing along! ~ courtesy Snazzy Snazzypants |
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is imperfectly illuminated Member  |
Wife or Girlfriend
**************** You are a Highwayman. You may not be the right sort of people, in fact, you're most certainly not the right sort of people, but you know them well and are generously committed to lightening their burdens, particularly when it comes to the burdens of their coin purses. |
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Knows what a real civil war should be Member  |
I've had five different women and could have had more. Now I'm abstinent and that's fine too.
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is in perfect karmic alignment Member |
Yes! Exactly. They're not. Thanks Mischief! ~You are a *Taverner*. Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~ -Royko |
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his colours are like your dream Member |
but quantity of sex is!
oh yes. Lots of sex is almost always a plus - unless ... actually, you don't need to know that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hyperbole is, without a shadow of doubt, the single greatest thing in the universe! |
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Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS The Dread of Numbers - Sex Wise..
www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS The Dread of Numbers - Sex Wise..© YourCopy 2001