Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Matt Cable's Bachelor Pad
www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Matt Cable's Bachelor Pad|
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Freebird YAHR! Member  |
Me want drink elixer of life!Me want to be happy:-) Some are born for endless flight, some are born for endless night |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member  |
Ok...you want to know what happens when Matt gets drunk? You think I'm funny now...Here's a story for the ages. Only 4 people now about it. It truly belongs in Larry's stripper thread, but I was the last person to post there and it feels a bit wrong to do back to back posts. This belongs at my pad.
Location: Business trip in Canada, The Ballet. My boss and two co-workers, late in the evening. In Canada, ballets (strip clubs) are all nude with alcohol. I'm spotting them each 50 pounds and keeping up beer for beer. I'm getting buzzed much quicker. Trying to understand how I can place a Loonie coin in a g-string. I've been eyeing a girl most the night...decide to blow my last loonie on her. I lay down on the stage and she crawls over me touching my feet so I get a good view. I just have a drunken smile on my face..feeling good. She works her way up and unbuckles my belt (I don't react), unzips my jeans (I don't react), goes down with her teeth and tears my underwear (I notice but don't react), then whips me out and starts to go down for another bite (I sober up real damn quick). All of this in front of my boss and two co-workers...I panic a bit, sit up and zip up at the table. Needless to say that pair of underwear didn't come home with me. This was a few years ago and I haven't been to a ballet since. Now when I get drunk I just take pictures of me in my autobot hat and post them on the board. I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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and the Case of the Rotting Seafood Platter Member  |
What happened to the underwear?
------ "Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow. Saying 'yes' leads to knowledge." ~Stephen Colbert |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member |
They...were donated to Canada. They were too holey to be very useful to me.
I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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*95 gold stars* Member  |
Was pizza involved at any point?
Hermits have no peer pressure |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member |
Not that I remember, but everything is a bit fuzzy...
Come on people! The place has been much too tame. I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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*95 gold stars* Member |
Well it appears that Polop is about to drink Silly Punks urine. Woooh. Wild.
Hermits have no peer pressure |
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is part of the international oatmeal conspiracy Member  |
bwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!! *looks at loonies in wallet, wonders where they have been* and i ain't got no stories, i'm a tame girl. the worst i do is stay up 24 hours and attempt to go rollerblading. unless you want to hear about the mattress tent at air cadet camp... High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination, Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple. scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella |
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and the Case of the Rotting Seafood Platter Member |
ooh... tell us about the tent!
------ "Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow. Saying 'yes' leads to knowledge." ~Stephen Colbert |
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is part of the international oatmeal conspiracy Member |
it was a tent. with mattresses in it.
and you went in it. with a person of your choosing and you did something that was expressly forbidden by the administration. i think it may fall under the category of "fraternization". and you hoped to hell you didn't get caught. High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination, Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple. scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella |
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Freebird YAHR! Member |
Polop walks in after a couple days break:-)
*Stripper?where?* *Begins to drink another bottle of tequilla* Some are born for endless flight, some are born for endless night |
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Freebird YAHR! Member |
*bumps*
This thread was a lot of fun Some are born for endless flight, some are born for endless night |
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The Biscuitkeeper Member |
Shit!
I've only got a week until this place gets shut down. I better get cleaning before Amy gets here. *hides all the co-eds panties* *sweeps up the empty beer bottles* *puts the toilet seat down* *thinks about cleaning the dishes* *keeps the stripper pole*  I'm Matt Cable and I approve this message. ________________________________________________ I'm alright. Don't nobody worry bout me. |
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rodentia extraordinarinus Member  |
*cleans the dishes*
boys are useless!  *drinks can of cider as a reward* ____________________________________________________ tiny ball of rage. hilarious, condensed rage - Snazz I never really lost my virginity... it just sort of eventually wore off - Chris Addison Um... I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com |
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Great wyrm of Toronto Member  |
*Reads Jules Verne quietly in the corner*
______________________________ Do not leave me with a bowl of anything for an extended period of time. |
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Has no front teeth Member  |
*shoos everyone out*
*locks up and puts up a "Closed For Renovations" signs* ______________________ “Fandangling across the moony sky, went the Beezee bold as brass, side-saddle she sat, on a big painted bat, shooting moonbeams out of her a(censored)e.†~Joe ________________________ Isn't sanity really just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy…ooh ooh ooh…the sky's the limit! |
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Guess what's behind door number pi! Member  |
I refuse to give up the batchelor lifestyle!
*cleans transmission in bathtub* *eats microwave dinners* *rebuilds carburator on coffee table* *leaves beer cans everywhere* *plays Iron Maiden really loud* *hangs up posters* (\__/) (O.o ) (> < ) |
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is part of the international oatmeal conspiracy Member |
*plays Iron Maiden even louder*
*air guitars all over the house* High Ranking Official of the Realm of Unproductivity and Procrastination, Dean of the UUP, First Class member of the order of the Pineapple. scruffy ambulating reanimated hypothetical vegetarian leigonairre of the undead. ~ Cav Look, I've got a cape and a tendency towards violence. It does not make me a superhero! ~ Domitella |
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Great wyrm of Toronto Member |
*Wakes up, looks around, nods, and goes back to sleep*
______________________________ Do not leave me with a bowl of anything for an extended period of time. |
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rodentia extraordinarinus Member |
*doesn't squash cartons before putting in the bin*
*sits with hand down trousers* *eats out of saucepan* Well, if you can't beat 'em... ____________________________________________________ tiny ball of rage. hilarious, condensed rage - Snazz I never really lost my virginity... it just sort of eventually wore off - Chris Addison Um... I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com |
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Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Matt Cable's Bachelor Pad
www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End FLAME WARS Matt Cable's Bachelor Pad© YourCopy 2001