She wanders into the dusty office, moving cobwebs out of her way with a casual flick of a well manicured hand.
"It would appear that no one has resided here in some time. Pity, I had hoped to slide my dilemna off onto another."
Without a backwards glance she strolls out, softly shutting the door behind her. Had she looked back would she have seen the set of shining eyes peeping out from beneath the desk?

I bet he went and DRANK himself to death. How very noir.

*stumbles into office*
I've not been drinking! I've been busy with, um, casework.
*looks at camera*
Shut up.
I'll take your case Ms. Smaug. I swear to have it solved by tonight... Or before I fall asleep at least.
I can take yours to Ms Batwoman

Hmmm...very well. Your broken capillaries and jaundiced eyes belie your words, but I shall give you a chance. I would like you to find the person who first started referring to male body parts as their "junk" so that I may kick them hard in the balls. Excuse me, I meant their scrotum.

A dame walks in saying something been stolen
Time eh? This case was off to a weird start. I was gonna need more alcohol.
I took her to a bar to question her (plus she wasn't a bad looking lady...)
After a few hours she couldn't stand being in the same room as me. But I had some suspects. Primarily a Mr Board. This was starting to sound suspiciously postmodern to me...
Apparently this Mr Board in not a hard man to find, Liked keeping a big profile, just took a quick google search.
I took a drag on my 30th cigarette of the day. I was gonna have to talk to a bigshot. Shit.

*hours later*
I'd gotten in under some bullshit about being part of what business he was in. I felt out of place with the giant coat and ridiculous hat. Everyone was too clean...
His secretary called me in.
The doors close behind me. I turn with just enough time to see a thug hit me with something large and metal.

I wake up with a headache that makes me forget all about still being hungover. This is definitely the guy. But I ain't much for self sacrifice. I let the dame know who's taking her time. But I ain't getting involved. I get enough death threats from the exes.

Sorry, my head isn't doing the whole putting words together in entertaining ways very well as of late. I'll get to your case in a day or two though Meanbat