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Dane Cook's Final Horcrux
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Picture of Domi
posted
Which is of course not a sex-party with a fire safety certificate.

(I've started this separate from the Contraception thread, as I'm not thinking about pregnancy prevention so much here, more about STIs - for boys and girls)

I was reading this comic recently, and while I intellectually know that one can catch things on/from one's hands (herpes-hands! wart-hands! fun times!), it would never in a million years have occurred to me to use protection for/from fingers. To be honest, it wouldn't even be at the top of my list for oral sex, even though I know that's me being wrong.

So I thought, why not have us all have a talk about this, in public!

How far do you go to protect yourself during sex? If you're in a longer-term relationship, do you get tested then stop, or not?

I know some people who would say you should still use protection in case someone cheats on you, but then where does it end, because married people can still cheat so do you NEVER stop using condoms unless you want babies, or are taking a huge risk if you do?

Do you use protection for everything, or just genital-genital sex? Should you?

I'm curious!



____________________________________________________
I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com
 
Posts: 20848 | Registered: November 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Dane Cook's Final Horcrux
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A fun fact I've just become aware of:

Gonorrhea could soon be untreatable!



____________________________________________________
I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com
 
Posts: 20848 | Registered: November 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knows what a real civil war should be
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My professional opinion:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!


I... don't need to use protection? Because if I thought I did, I wouldn't be doing anything so then I still wouldn't need protection?
 
Posts: 32867 | Location: smooshy mashed pertato mountian | Registered: June 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Click here!
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I would think most monogamous long term relationships proceed from the assumption that no protection against STIs are needed? And yeah, I guess sometimes that trust is misplaced.

I vaguely recall that when we ditched rubbers for other forms of birth control, I told my husband that if he ever cheats, he should at least wear one. "You too," he replied, and that was it. I don't know, in a long term relationship you trust the other person with your well being and health in so many ways. This is just one of them. Relationships are inherently risky.

That said, antibiotic resistant anything gives me nightmares.


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Posts: 2413 | Location: fluttering about | Registered: September 18, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
In control
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Long term trusting monogamous relationship means birth control only here too.


----------------
Never stare into a car's headlights and freeze, because you'll either be run over or shot.
 
Posts: 1766 | Location: Everywhere you wanna be. Like Visa. Or is that American Express? | Registered: February 23, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
*102 gold stars*
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quote:
Originally posted by Domitella:
(herpes-hands! wart-hands! fun times!)




I am never shaking hands with someone from your school again.





Hermits have no peer pressure
 
Posts: 8095 | Registered: April 09, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Pirate/Zombie/Hero
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I've never used protection for hands or oral. I'm aware there's a risk, but you can catch colds, herpes, mono, etc from kissing, so I have somewhat of a fatalistic point of view- you can't ever be completely safe, and for me personally I would not enjoy hands or oral if latex protection was used, so why do it? If I felt it was THAT big a risk with a particular person I'd just skip it all together.

Matrix and I used condoms once in a while when I wasn't using another kind of birth control, and for now TGIB and I will be using condoms, at least until testing gets done, but I have a difficult time finding condoms that my body accepts. It's probably a latex sensitivity, so I'll be trying non-latex options, but in the past Matrix and I used condoms so infrequently that I never bothered doing much research or getting an official diagnosis (and up until now he was the only one I'd had "genital-genital" sex with).

Hopefully I won't have any unplanned or unexpected exposure to an STI due to cheating. Seems sort of silly to me that one would lie about sleeping with another person when one can be honest about it without negative repercussions. But if/when there are other partners involved, I'll likely use condoms, at least for a while, with whoever has the new partner to make sure I'm taking steps to protect myself, rather than relying on secondhand information (and I think both Matrix and TGIB would use protection with a new person also). And both of the guys will probably continue to use condoms if they're with anyone else, even if tests are clean, because, while my tubes are tied, neither one of them has yet been snipped, and there will be NO MORE KIDS!! We are all DONE with pregnancy/babies! So then we're back to the birth control side, rather than the STI side. :P


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Vice-Chancellor of the Heartless Bitch Council

Damn peer pressure
 
Posts: 5271 | Location: Sacramento, CA, US | Registered: August 17, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is in perfect karmic alignment
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No protection for hands or oral. Condoms at the start and later negotiable.
While i know this is inconsistant, i don't switch sexual partners at all regularly. So I take a few chances for enjoyment's sakes.
It also, in my view, rather depends on the partner.
So post-testing condoms optional.


-------------------
Blog: Room with a view.

~You are a *Taverner*.
Sometimes patrons want to go where everybody knows their names, though it helps when half of them are named John. When people want to celebrate, or commiserate, they gather to your establishment. You provide the atmosphere, the warmth, rum, and even an ear to bend. Did I mention the rum? Years before the language will be mangled with terms like facilitator and networking and interpersonal communication, you've overseen it all, and broken up a few bar fights, to boot.~
-Royko

 
Posts: 8667 | Location: Just north of Earth | Registered: July 02, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knows what a real civil war should be
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I prefer no condoms, yellow dishwashing gloves, and a circa WWI mustard gas respirator.

What?
 
Posts: 32867 | Location: smooshy mashed pertato mountian | Registered: June 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
*Special Achievement Award Winner 2010* shines on like the stars
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Minor highjack here,

I had to fish a condom, filled as a water balloon, out of the mens rest room at work. Now a real water balloon is made to break on impact, a good condom should not. Just what are they teaching kids these days?


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Life is too short to read a bad book.
 
Posts: 2485 | Location: Page 42 | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Did something right
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I've said it before: Your mouth can't get pregnant.


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My baby is cuter than your baby!
 
Posts: 12870 | Registered: February 18, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knows what a real civil war should be
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- Big Flinchy
- safe sex

Choose one.
 
Posts: 32867 | Location: smooshy mashed pertato mountian | Registered: June 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Smartest woman in the world.
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Sorry, Boo. I've made that choice for all of you. You get safe sex, and I get Big Flinchy.

and pregnant.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parenthetical enthusiast.
 
Posts: 8092 | Location: On the 34th Floor | Registered: November 04, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Dane Cook's Final Horcrux
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I think the thing about risk, is that it's not a question of 'there's a risk of something so you don't do it', otherwise the best solution would be to not have sex with anyone ever, or leave the house or breathe.



____________________________________________________
I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com
 
Posts: 20848 | Registered: November 11, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Pirate/Zombie/Hero
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Right. LIFE = the STD with a 100% fatality rate!


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Vice-Chancellor of the Heartless Bitch Council

Damn peer pressure
 
Posts: 5271 | Location: Sacramento, CA, US | Registered: August 17, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Knows what a real civil war should be
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quote:
Originally posted by Jocelyn:
Sorry, Boo. I've made that choice for all of you. You get safe sex, and I get Big Flinchy.

and pregnant.  


What if Tongsterbot got you pregnant and not Big Flinchy? I mean the only differences between them is the monotone voice and blinking LEDs on the forehead, and Tongsterbot could fake those easily.
 
Posts: 32867 | Location: smooshy mashed pertato mountian | Registered: June 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I caught genital herpes (HSV1) due to unprotected oral sex (receiving end) The guy I caught it from was asymptomatic and had never even had a cold sore in his life. I learned about viral shedding thanks to him.

Since a huge amount of the population has HSV1 (cold sore virus) and wouldn't imagine that they had to tell a sexual partner that they've had cold sores, I haven't told all of my partners about my infection. If I've had an outbreak due to stress (about once ever 3-4 years or so) I avoid having sex during that period.

I make my partners use a condom because of it. A current casual sporadic lover has requested to have sex without a condom, but I won't let him. He keeps saying, "I don't have any diseases" but I haven't had the heart to tell him, "Dude, I'm making you wear a condom to protect you."

I've had long term partners who have been informed of the risk, and where we've had unprotected sex. None of them have caught genital or oral herpes, most likely because they already have a HSV1 infection.
 
Posts: 12 | Registered: April 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Melittosphex sapiens
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quote:
Originally posted by Domitella:
I was reading this comic recently, and while I intellectually know that one can catch things on/from one's hands (herpes-hands! wart-hands! fun times!), it would never in a million years have occurred to me to use protection for/from fingers. To be honest, it wouldn't even be at the top of my list for oral sex, even though I know that's me being wrong.

I was in the US in the late 1980's, when knowledge of HIV was less than a decade old, and retrovirals weren't on the scene - awareness of possible routes of transmission for STDs were very widely and publicly discussed in lesbian and gay social circles. It seemed to be very much the case that American lesbians were much more into the whole barrier thing - gloves + dams - than British lesbians (generally speaking), although dental dams were known about here, if not all that common, and clingfilm was not unknown, either. That cartoon you linked to is American, I think?

I have been off the scene for a looooong time now, so I don't know what is the generally Done Thing is amongst young lesbians now in the UK.


ETA: also, damn you, I'm now reading Girls With Slingshots.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hive,


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Posts: 15843 | Registered: April 12, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Part-time avant garde shrubbery inspector who breaths fire and lets out a mighty YAHR!
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I'm not even sure where to post this but this quote was too funny not to put SOMEWHERE. Its from a friend of mine:

quote:
My problem is - and I was thinking about this the other day - that I don't have much interest in sex sex, but I want orgasms, but the thought of being held by a guy versus a girl [mental imaged and portrayed both] felt better BUT...I have very little [none to my knowledge of being held that way by a girl so I don't know?

*shakes things* I'm almost 30 and I don't know anything about my fucking sexuality!?
And it's not like I can go to some kind of sexual petting zoo and go "patpat" hmmm, nope..."pat pa....er...ew...." "patpat" Ooo, yer cute..... "patjumphump"
ya know?!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Discordian Priestess, Keeper of the Golden Pine-Apple.

Has Been Assimilated.

blog or not
 
Posts: 8877 | Location: ain't from 'round these parts | Registered: August 02, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Are you my mummy?
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I suppose the real question is how risky is it? I'll look at straight sex in my hometown of just over 1 million in the incidence coverage area.

In my city chlamydia is the most common STI. It's very common in teens and early twenties cohorts. But not so much in people over 30. It is also common in some neighborhoods and comparatively rare in others usually of higher socio-economic status. With taking into account these and other risk factors and adjusting your behavior slightly your risk would be about 1 in 1000 if you didn't mind a lover over 30. If you went for the worst case scenario and chose the sketchiest 21 year old, who is not a sex worker, is drunk and lives near Somerset you would be up to 22 per 1000. On the other hand chlamydia can be cured with a single pill. Much more dangerous things to worry about.

We have almost wiped out Hep B locally, only 1 case. 2 women contracted syphilis. Only 4 woman were infected with gonorrhea last year. Not much risk considering the size of the metropolitan area.

17 women contracted HIV. 12 through heterosexual sex. 5 knew the partner was HIV positive. If you also factor out persons from countries where HIV is endemic and sex while traveling there are only 3 or 4 cases left.

All in all I would say that our public health authorities have this problem well under control. In terms of real risk all sex in my hometown is "safe" IMO.


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SOTA, Santa Of The Apocalypse. (retired)
Former Xtacle
http://goo.gl/lgtHa
 
Posts: 851 | Location: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: July 23, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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