quote:

Originally posted by Maeve:

quote:

I gotta say, now I have a mental image of Tong humping a chick's leg at a pub.

aaaaaand now so do I.

And me.
*glares at Matt Cable*

dunno, I think clover's scenario is better!

Mmmm. . . chicken feet.

quote:

Originally posted by Tongster:
Mmmm. . . chicken feet.

That's exactly what I was thinking.
Tongster+chicken...chicken feet.

To: You #1,

Yes, I do miss you. Terribly at times. Yes I do love you - too much. Yes you are still impacting my life, greatly. Yes, sometimes I wish you felt this strongly for me. I think I understand that you have been staying away because you DO care. You are trying to make this easier. At least, I hope that's why - I hope it is because you care and not because you don't. I hope it is not that you would just prefer to forget. Sometimes my love for you is inexplicable to me. Sometimes it makes perfect sense. I hope you are happy.


To: You #2

Yes, things are somewhat better. BUT things are not all better. I don't know if they will ever be all better. Let's not forget that just yet ok?


To: You #3

Yes, you did make the wrong choice. But, you made it and I respect that. I worry about your choices these days because I don't want to see you hurt. I am afraid that this path you are on - one I am very familiar with - might not be the path for you. But that is something only you will be able to judge. I hope that your choices end up making you happy. I am glad that I can still be in your life at least. Just remember to take life one step at a time and stop stressing so much. I do feel like it is fair to tell you that there is a depth of feeling that you missed out on because of your choice. Perhaps there will be better benefits this way - perhaps not. But then, we won't know, so it ultimately doesn't matter. Take care of yourself.


To All of them : I love you, BA

Dear you,

Every time you say something and I take it lightheartedly it turns out you were actually feeling bad and just being very indirect about it. Every time you say something and I zero in on it and try to listen with what you call "intensity" it turns out you were just mentioning it in passing and that I'm being far too serious.

Either way, I feel bad about missing what should be obvious cues. But they aren't obvious, to me.

And I think I'm going to be lighthearted and jokey about everything you say now because if I end up feeling dumb about it later, then at least I've not expended so much energy on it. And also, at least that way I'll be fun to be with. No one likes the serious girls.

I'm tired of always feeling I said not enough or not the right things and feeling responsible. And then you go and say "but why do you?" and I say "I don't know" and you say "See!"

If I just let you do your thing then I have to handle that you're "meh" practically all the time without doing much about it and just take it as a matter of course. But I think that's what you want. You want people to bring a bit of a laugh and some flirtation and warmth. That's what you like and who you want to be around.

So okay. It's business as usual. Maybe if I stop caring so much about what you're saying I'll be more fun to be with.

Yours,
Me

This message has been edited. Last edited by: His Noodle Girl,

I won't sully the intention of this by beginning with a 'dear'. I know that you are under a lot of pressure in your new position, so let me take a moment to remind you of a few things. In your new position you are salaried. That means no matter how many hours you work you get paid the same. And the company doesn't care if you work more than 40 hours. I know that you don't want to work over 40, but you can if you want. And you are able to devote all of your time to getting tasks done in addition to management stuff. I am not salaried. The main difference there is that you can work more than 40 if you want and I cannot. I also have to spend at least 20 hours devoted to the customers in my department, which is time I cannot spend getting tasks done or doing my managerial stuff. So if you want the curtains made for the registers, or announcements made for sales, you will either have to wait for me to get done, or do it yourself. And if you get nasty with me again about 'my needing to do it because I said I would", just remember please that I volunteered to do all that before I recieved 30 less hours for my associates which I now have to cover myself. Oh, and if you take that tone of voice with me again I will drag you outside in the cold, strip you, and post you to the side of the building. After I have beaten you silly, of course.
Thank you.
Me

quote:

Originally posted by Babylon the Bride:
Good luck, Fion!

And yeah, I think these guys think it's a part of flirting to be "rogueishly pesky". And when you get annoyed they think YOU'RE flirting back.

But I don't know how to act anymore. What do guys WANT? Do they want you to say "fuck off and leave me alone" as soon as they open their mouths? And then they can be all hurt and say "hey, I was only asking!" and then complain in online fora about hysterical rude women never giving poor nice guys a chance?

Because if you're polite they just push more and they DON'T GET THE FUCKING HINT which is not so much a hint as a whack over the head with a fence pole.

- I don't look you in the face
- I am curt and try to ignore you
- I answer only what politeness dictates I react to
- I YELL AT YOU IN PUBLIC

What do guys WANT?!

And why am I so pissed off? Because I feel that I have to be polite and that that allows people to corner me and make me answer when I don't want to. I feel cornered.

Oh man....I agree with you there. On a coach back to Sheffield over Christmas, the guy sitting next to me firstly stroked my hand, to which I replied:

"DO YOU MIND?!!"

He appologised, then later on asked me me what I was reading, then if he could borrow the book. Then did not understand why I was giving him a funny look and saying, "NO! I'm reading it..?!!"

Then, asked if he could listen to my MP3 player. At that point I sighed very loudly and said, "NO YOU CAN NOT!"

I wanted him to be more forward so at least then I could forcefully tell him to fuck off. But there were no other seats on the coach. I'm not sure what part of my behaviour did not show that I was not interested and wanted to be left alone.

Um...he did stroke your hand! That's the point where I get this wild urge to slap guys (and I actually have at one point, in public transport). Nothing is forgivable about public touching.

My dad recommended a long time ago, that if something like that happens to say loudly, "STOP TOUCHING MY HAND RIGHT NOW. I DON'T KNOW YOU AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU."

He felt it was all about clear and public messages...

quote:

Originally posted by St.Barbarella:
I wanted him to be more forward so at least then I could forcefully tell him to fuck off.

That is exactly what used to make me absolutely livid - guys who cross the line ever so slightly, but in such an oblique way you can't ever be sure & because of that can't say anything.

When I was about 12 there was this guy who used to be on the same bus as me, early in the morning. If I happened to be standing, he'd stand just this little bit too close for me to be comfortable so when he got out he could brush past me, or he'd hold on to my elbow for a second. And when he sat down next to me, it was just close enough for me to feel squashed against the window - but not close enough for me to do anything. It used to drive me spare, because after a while I started questioning myself, & I didn't know how to react. Luckily, one day when he sat down very close to me again, a guy got up & shouted at him to "leave that girl in peace". The other guy never bothered me again. What I still don't know is how I could have defended myself, & still today it makes me most angry if I feel things are just a touch wrong but not enough for me to say anything.

quote:

Originally posted by Cassiopeia:

quote:

Originally posted by St.Barbarella:
I wanted him to be more forward so at least then I could forcefully tell him to fuck off.

That is exactly what used to make me absolutely livid - guys who cross the line ever so slightly, but in such an oblique way you can't ever be sure & because of that can't say anything.

When I was about 12 there was this guy who used to be on the same bus as me, early in the morning. If I happened to be standing, he'd stand just this little bit too close for me to be comfortable so when he got out he could brush past me, or he'd hold on to my elbow for a second. And when he sat down next to me, it was just close enough for me to feel squashed against the window - but not close enough for me to do anything. It used to drive me spare, because after a while I started questioning myself, & I didn't know how to react. Luckily, one day when he sat down very close to me again, a guy got up & shouted at him to "leave that girl in peace". The other guy never bothered me again. What I still don't know is how I could have defended myself, & still today it makes me most angry if I feel things are just a touch wrong but not enough for me to say anything.

If it's making you uncomfortable it's enough for you to say something.

listen to aunty smaugy.

"you're making me uncomfortable, could you please not touch me like that/move a little further away/take your hand off my backside before i break it...."

who was it who caught hold of an offenders hand and held it up for all to see and said very loudly "does anyone know who this belongs to, its not mine but i found it on my backside"

and it doesn't have to be the backside for you to comment...any unasked for and unneeded touching, especially by people you don't know, can be commented upon, if you don't say anything, that makes it alright for them to touch the next person, if you're not brave enough to do it for yourself, do it for the next woman he's going to make uncomfortable.

quote:

Originally posted by Smaug:

who was it who caught hold of an offenders hand and held it up for all to see and said very loudly "does anyone know who this belongs to, its not mine but i found it on my backside"

ROFL!
I'm so using that line next time!

An old lady when I was volunteering at Oxfam used to touch my bum... I think it was just a "hi!". I hope it was... Old ladies are hard to read.

to my temps:

you are not being paid to sit and chat. i know the questionnaire is hard. believe it or not, I have done what you're doing now. and for this company. I have been working here for longer than you, regardless of the fact that last time you were here, I was not.

I may be younger than you, but the fact remains - it was me that our bosses asked to stay and analyse the data that you collected. They think I can do this.

You are temporary staff. When this project finishes you will get a nice fat bonus and walk into another job. I am not. I like this job. I would like to keep it. And if you keep fucking around, that is not likely.

Get your fucking asses in gear and do some sodding work.

Yours,

Me.

Dear Whatever,

I need a fucking break. I can't go on anymore, honestly. It's too hard. You're making it too hard. It's hard to trudge on and it's even harder to react to it -and even when I do, it just never gets any better.

Honestly, I'm bordering on breaking point now. Please, please, PLEASE, it's too fucking difficult. Stop it. Stop. It.

*hugs Clover*

dear you. and yes, you would know who you were if you were a member here.

i tried to be reasonable. not my fault you are a fuckwit. don't fucking blame it on ME that you led me on. don't even THINK about fucking telling me that it's my fault. not a fucking chance. laying that on me right now isn't your doing that the timing fucking sucked, but don't expect any more chances from me, fucker.

no love from
me.

quote:

Originally posted by cloverheart:
Dear Whatever,

I need a fucking break. I can't go on anymore, honestly. It's too hard. You're making it too hard. It's hard to trudge on and it's even harder to react to it -and even when I do, it just never gets any better.

Honestly, I'm bordering on breaking point now. Please, please, PLEASE, it's too fucking difficult. Stop it. Stop. It.

*hugshugshugs*

Dear Mr Hodgkin.

Thank you for apparently not being the kind of lymphoma my mother has. i'm very grateful, because you're impossible to recover from, i gather. i'm really very glad you chose to leave us alone.

Love Me

Dear Lymphoma

Fuck you, man. FUCK YOU.

Not love, Me.

Dear Limer,
*many, many hugs*
Me, and undoubtedly the rest of us