Don't thank, just try and catch up.

Dear Campus Ministry -

If you wanted the movie done by this friday, you should have told me LAST WEEK instead of letting me think I had until next wednesday and then calling out of the blue and asking if it's done yet.

GAH!
-me

Dear Ten year-old Me,

It's all your fault. If I didn't think it'd be good for you to be sent to the psychologist I'd tell you to shut your trap, but let's face it- you deserve it. You deserve it now so that you don't have to deserve it later, but you'll still think you will because you're a asstard like that. Anywho, the point is that you're not normal. I've got some very important things to tell you, so listen up! You wont understand now, but when your best friend gets sent to the vet, make sure you take your time to say proper goodbyes. I don't care that you hate people now, 'cause it's for the best in the long run. You're going to get picked on in school, you're going to get ignored at home, you're going to have a job you love with a boss you hate for five years, and you're going to suck it up and take it, 'cause when you're my age you'll realize everything that's happened to you has turned you into one of the best people you know. Oh, you'll always be an ugly little shit, so best to get used to it. Um... be careful with Kyle- you'll only hurt him. Be even more careful with Alan- he'll hurt you.

Of course you could just suck it up, hang around people every chance you get, actually APPLY yourself in school and become a NORMAL person and never know how it feels to have some rudiments of intelligence... You'd probably feel better, but I can't recommend it because I could never go back.

So you see, my delirious little counter-part, while you don't fit in and never will, you still live to see tomorrow. No one murders you, I advise staying away from trying to murder yourself.

Oh screw it. You're not getting this letter. The only thing I regret you not doing is saying goodbye to your best friend. And even that's necessary to the lunatic you've become.

With much hate and loathing,
Me

P.S.- Suck it up and take your SATs.

Dear Royal mail,

Thanks for losing another rental DVD. And congratulations on picking one that's part of a series, so I'll have to watch the shows out of sequence. I'm so glad you went on strike and demanded that pay increase your postmen and women obviously deserve. Consummate professionals, all of them.

Yours sarcastically,
Me

Dear Right Foot:

Stop hurting! WTF!

-Me

___

Dear Lawyers 1,2,3

It takes time to copy things. Like, more than five minutes. So Be Freaking Patient!

-Me

Dear Dance Mother,
We have over 500 students at this school. If you send us an e-mail giving absolutely no indication that your daughter is currently a student, you should not be offended when we treat you as a brand new inquiry.

~me

----------------
Dear Back,
See megsish's letter to Right Foot. The same goes for you.

~me

Dear idiot male in the cafeteria today -

Yes, my friend and I were listening in on your conversation. How could we not, when you're trying to justify to your friends that murder is really the only crime that matters, because (and I quote) "most rapes are accidental."

Excuse me? You can not, under ANY circumstances, ACCIDENTALLY RAPE A WOMAN! I have never gone from zero to pissed so quickly in my life, and I will never regret interrupting both of our lunches to tell you just how wrong you were.

Furiously,
me

Jesus, that's a shocking attitude smalltown. Glad you gave them a good sorting.

Bravo smalltown!

Good for you, Smalltown.

Someone needed to put them in their place. I'm sorry it had to be you, smalltown, but at the same time I'm glad you did.

Excellent, smalltown. *Hugs*

Yay ST!

Dear TFL

LET ME OFF THE FUCKING TRAIN YOU MUPPETS!!!

Yours with deep dislike

Pissed off commuter

Dear Parents:

Talking about aspects of my personal life behind my back, right when I am in the other room is not a sign of good manners. And certainly not one of respect.

Next time, I would thank you to please tell me any personal comments with regards to me to my face. Like mature adults do.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
me

Dear University Commons:

I

really, really, REALLY want to 

quit.

Sincerely,
disgruntled manager

Dear you,
You've no idea how much it means to have you as a friend, having someone who's actually interested in me and what I think and believe. Since I don't want to come off as pathetic and desperate for attention it will be a while before you do.
Much love,
Jesse

Dear Facebook.

How dare you ban me! Don't you know who I am!?

Dear Person Who This Letter is To,

You are mean, immature, and lack social graces.

Sincerely,
me

It's funny how we both have three names: one for town, one for the country,
And one that rides in the back, waving directions or dismay,
Yet secretly thrilled at the curves and the crests of hills taken too fast.

Our Town Names, respectable and considered,
Worn gracefully and at a careful remove from scandal
Like an expensive little black dress or spit-shined wingtips.

Then our Country Names:
Weeks and weeks around the dress-up chest, breathless and reckless and thrilled,
Teasing a dangerous beast with sweets and endearments.

And our Real Names look to the sky from our own backyards,
And see our reflections sauntering across clouds,
And feel our hearts catch on the hooks of the wind.

quote:

And our Real Names look to the sky from our own backyards,
And see our reflections sauntering across clouds,
And feel our hearts catch on the hooks of the wind.

that bit. wow. I'm not coherent enough or clever enough to respond to that right now, but it moved me, it tickled my soul.