Neil Gaiman    www.NeilgaimanBoard.com    www.NeilgaimanBoard.com  Hop To Forum Categories  The World's End  Hop To Forums  FLAME WARS    thread days feel ... when you for those part2
Page 1 ... 35 36 37 38
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
thread days feel ... when you for those part2
 Login/Join
 
is irreducibly complex
Member
Picture of Weeble
posted Hide Post
I am having lots of feels. Not terrible because I've been doing so well lately, but some sadness for a lost relationship. I had a very close friend who called me her sister. For once I let my guard down and let her in. She got married and had two children and dropped me in favor of her friends who were also having babies. I was also not enamored of her new anti-vaccine, pseudo-science views, so accepted the distancing. I figured this was more her loss - I work with kids, I do a killer storytime, I could have kept her boys entertained/distracted/safe for hours so she had time for herself. Eh, her loss.

I was there with her during her first two pregnancies. She also documented them on Facebook. This time, years later, she didn't. Two random posts have appeared on her page from her friends expressing surprise and congratulations on the birth of a baby girl. So I guess I'm not the only one she has distanced or kept the pregnancy quiet from. Which is, of course, her right.

It just reminds me of the loss. We danced for hours the night she found out she was expecting her first boy. When she called me with news of her second pregnancy I guessed it before she said it, I could tell just by the sound of her voice.

I guess I just miss that friendship.

I know I should "unfriend" her on Facebook so I don't get reminded of the loss of our friendship. It hurts to get that gushing once-a-year Happy Birthday message from her. But the truth is, I still care about her and her family, so I leave that door open.
 
Posts: 10991 | Location: *rattling the bars of my cage* | Registered: November 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
I know we have a death thread, but I don't really like posting there because this is just rambling thought.

I suppose we now all feel a bit like what he must have felt. Lost and bereft and that all hope is gone.



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is irreducibly complex
Member
Picture of Weeble
posted Hide Post
This is the first year all the Father's Day stuff has bothered me. I miss my dad so much. It's ten years this August and my mom is dying, so maybe that's part of it. I've nowhere to talk about it because FB is all coworkers and professional contacts and some family, and my Twitter is public. The Board really was a special place in its day.
 
Posts: 10991 | Location: *rattling the bars of my cage* | Registered: November 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Administrator
Member
Picture of Smaug
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Weeble:
This is the first year all the Father's Day stuff has bothered me. I miss my dad so much. It's ten years this August and my mom is dying, so maybe that's part of it. I've nowhere to talk about it because FB is all coworkers and professional contacts and some family, and my Twitter is public. The Board really was a special place in its day.


*hugs*

We are still here, and if you didn't know the WE part of Facebook is super secret, nobody else can see your posts there.


~
I prefer to live in a country that's small, and old, and where no one would ever have the NERVE to wear a cape in public, whether they could leap tall buildings in a single bound or not.

the parrot... ...gets tiresome.
the parrot... ...i ate him.


CHIKKINZ?
 
Posts: 20595 | Location: England | Registered: June 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is irreducibly complex
Member
Picture of Weeble
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Smaug:
the WE part of Facebook is super secret, nobody else can see your posts there.
I forget that all the time!
 
Posts: 10991 | Location: *rattling the bars of my cage* | Registered: November 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lagomorphic wannabe
Member
Picture of Motley
posted Hide Post
Hey Weeble. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Life's horrible at times. If you want to talk, feel free to talk to me? Not sure I can help having not been through it yet but my folks are old enough for me to feel it coming.

I do know what you mean about FB. Even though everyone knows everyone a bit on the board, somehow it feels more sensitive to emotions than FB. And slightly, not anonymous, but more respectful of people somehow. You can post negative/sad/emotive thoughts here, whereas on FB you don't feel you should.

I feel horrid a lot but need to stay strong for my girls. So I don't feel I can vent. Not sure quite what or where to do it though! I need me some friends!


*********

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Kurt Vonnegut
 
Posts: 2709 | Location: Woman of Kent | Registered: October 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Tori lookalike contest winner, 2001
Member
Picture of Ophelia's Vengeance
posted Hide Post
*hugs Motley*

Feel free to vent here.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The World's End.. as Sims!
 
Posts: 12393 | Location: Bowie's Pants | Registered: August 15, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is irreducibly complex
Member
Picture of Weeble
posted Hide Post
Uggghhhhhhh. All it takes is for my one brother to snark at me and I'm feeling like I don't belong anywhere in this world. I'm just in the way, taking up resources someone else could be using.
 
Posts: 10991 | Location: *rattling the bars of my cage* | Registered: November 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Administrator
Member
Picture of Smaug
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Weeble:
Uggghhhhhhh. All it takes is for my one brother to snark at me and I'm feeling like I don't belong anywhere in this world. I'm just in the way, taking up resources someone else could be using.


PAH! I like that you are in the world and am always happy when I see you have posted somewhere. I think that's a good enough reason for you to share the worlds resources.

Bugger your snarky ignorant brother says I!


~
I prefer to live in a country that's small, and old, and where no one would ever have the NERVE to wear a cape in public, whether they could leap tall buildings in a single bound or not.

the parrot... ...gets tiresome.
the parrot... ...i ate him.


CHIKKINZ?
 
Posts: 20595 | Location: England | Registered: June 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
Seconded!



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lagomorphic wannabe
Member
Picture of Motley
posted Hide Post
Thirded. (is that a word)
Whether it is or not brothers are not all that! Some are outright bastards.


*********

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Kurt Vonnegut
 
Posts: 2709 | Location: Woman of Kent | Registered: October 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Great wyrm of Toronto
Member
Picture of Mythos
posted Hide Post
The worst is knowing that everything changes but not knowing when, or how: and that it will never stop.


______________________________
You can't take the sky from me.
 
Posts: 6054 | Location: Canada | Registered: July 11, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Great wyrm of Toronto
Member
Picture of Mythos
posted Hide Post
I used to rant on here a lot.

With a few exceptions, I would vent the fury and frustration of the day here: to the point of sounding like a psychotic maniac.

At first, I thought it was the social media that changed things. I mean, the new social media: much like the New Gods of American Gods. But I think that was just the beginning really.

No. I think somewhere over time, and with the presence I made, I've internalized a lot different things. I'm more aware now that I' out there when I'm online. It's not just another place to vent, but another social venue.

Flame Wars helped in that it was a particular place where you could do and say all those things: provided you didn't hurt anyone. I knew my place when I ranted here and then attempted to be civil elsewhere.

I mean, I know I will just rant on here again, once again, for old time's sake or when I can't say what I want to in any other place. But I'm also not that repressed twenty-something year old anymore. I'm still angry about a lot of things in my life, but it's just ... different now, somehow.

Anyway, I think that's the end of today's stream of consciousness. And I'm glad you are still here Board and Flame Wars. For however long that may be.


______________________________
You can't take the sky from me.
 
Posts: 6054 | Location: Canada | Registered: July 11, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Great wyrm of Toronto
Member
Picture of Mythos
posted Hide Post
What they didn't tell you was that after all the messages, all the emails, all the letters and packages, and comradery, and cuddles on the couch, and trips, and commutes and talking about the hard things, and talking about the easy things that -- eventually -- it was just going to become all about distance and time, silence and frustration, "being happily with someone" and inferring that you were not happy with what you had before, the double-standards, the infighting, when the letters stop coming ... when the phone calls stop.

And you don't know what else to do: with it all ultimately being on you.

And you look back at the ease and wonder and the excitement and anxiety mixed into anticipation, and the utter lack of responsibility and guilt, and you wonder if those moments in your life were all just a dream.

Perhaps bitterness is another form of self-entitlement: you can admit that much. But then again, maybe it's just the resentment that develops when you just won't let go. And maybe: it's time to do just that -- if only to let go of those old dreams and unrealistic expectations.

You can't go back. You just need to find that path forward now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mythos,


______________________________
You can't take the sky from me.
 
Posts: 6054 | Location: Canada | Registered: July 11, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
Fuck cancer.

Some fellow knitters really loved the Amsterdam sweater and so I promised to knit it for them, over the course of this year. K bought her yarn first and I've been working on it sporadically, thinking I have plenty of time and I'll get to R's sweater after summer. Then R lost her job and I figure... I dunno if she's even going to want to buy yarn. Then she planned on moving to Florida and I figured, welp, she's not gonna want a wool sweater!

Then she was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I went to see her yesterday and took her some ciabatta. She asked about K's sweater and wanted me to she her mother the photo I have of the Amsterdam sweater, so I did. And she said, 'And she's gonna make me one!' So I said, 'You gotta stick around for it!'

And so I have put K's on hold and bought the yarn for R's sweater and I started it. I really hope I get to finish it for her, but...

*sigh*



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
'No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...'

It's been a long time since my mum died, but so many Boardies have lately been dealing with losses that it makes me think of her. And I fret that when I go, her ripples will die down, because Dev wasn't born yet when she died...

But today she made a big splash. I sat next to her grandson and channeled my mum as I belted out Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton. Dev likes the song because it's in Deadpool. I like the song because of the movie and nostalgia. My mum loved that song because, well... it's about a one night stand and I don't think mum ever realised the context. She was fairly naive about sex in song lyrics. But when I was Dev's age, I would sit next to mum and sing along, badly.

Dev sounds better than I do or ever did. Smile



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is irreducibly complex
Member
Picture of Weeble
posted Hide Post
Working with kids is heartbreaking sometimes, because life is what life is. I hate cancer, I hate diseases that have little research being done on them because they're so rare, I hate that children suffer, I hate that some children don't get to grow up.

On a related note, it's essential to get FOP (fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva) diagnosed as early as possible. Check out the picture of the child's toes on http://www.ifopa.org. This can be noticed at birth, so that precautions can be taken to prolong the child's life.
 
Posts: 10991 | Location: *rattling the bars of my cage* | Registered: November 04, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Weirdy American Tart Thing
Member
Picture of Maeve
posted Hide Post
I came in here to whinge on about how I hurt after merely getting my hair washed and cut and see a post about sick kids.

I'll just be over there with my heating pad.



Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
Posts: 25366 | Location: under tangled yarn | Registered: August 09, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 ... 35 36 37 38 
 

Neil Gaiman    www.NeilgaimanBoard.com    www.NeilgaimanBoard.com  Hop To Forum Categories  The World's End  Hop To Forums  FLAME WARS    thread days feel ... when you for those part2

© YourCopy 2001