i noticed some clearly recent scars on a colleague's arms, once. i knew i was about to leave, so just on my last day, i sent her an email, from my home account, asking if she was ok or if there was anything i could do. the reason i did it that way was because when i was actually working with her, she was INCREDIBLY hostile towards me, totally refused to have anything to do with me. but i couldn't not say anything.

i think, for the record, that you have done the right thing.

Big tick from here. You asked what would be the right thing to do and then did it.

The worst thing is, it really didn't have to be this way.

The first mistake was opening myself up. I see that now: because when you open yourself up you can give someone the tools that become the weapons that hurt you.

The second mistake was lying to myself about how things really are and about how I did not see this coming: because I totally did. I just didn't want to.

The third mistake was believing that I could live fairy-tales instead of simply writing them or gaining inspiration from them. I forgot the simple precept that all human beings are self-centred beings. They take care of themselves first and chances are they are never around when you need them or when you have issues to discuss and it will always be about them. Always.

The fourth mistake is the common one in which I forget that I'm no exception from the third mistake.

The fifth mistake is not an original one but you cannot help other people who cannot or are not willing to help themselves and find more ways to disagree with your advice than to actually look at it.

And I think, when this is all said and done, the sixth and final mistake is writing a Board post when I'm this angry and otherwise upset.

All I can do is learn from at least some of this and bear it all in mind later. Make friends. Get yourself out there, but I should always remember to only trust someone up to a point or if they have proven themselves beyond the superficial.

This much is pretty dratted hard to deal with.
- constant pain
- relationship *might* be
(i) over
(ii) untenable for me
- Job over.

Try and summon the enthousiasm for interviews[1] and working this hard *constantly* without much support.

[1] Which I aced regardless.

And *hugs*

Woah.

*hugs*
All that at the same time?

*hugs*

really sorry to hear that!

**hugs Fins**

*adds more hugs to the pile*

Thanks guys.
I'm taking measures. Physio on mondays, and i might have a shot at a new job.
I'll just have to keep working at it. Difficult times call for kicking ass. And i will.
*hugs* back.

Remember you are a Tough Mofo.

*hugs*

And you deserve all good things.

<<<squeezy hugs>>> for Fins.

You guys. You are *magic*.
I just landed a new job. The boyfriend announced last week he's staying.

This'll be the last week at my old job (my lawyers are understandably peeved at HR, MT and the powers that be. Though not at me) then holiday, baby.

Then bring out the pumps, and we're ready for a new job at litigation. It's a major move up for me.

Thank you all for the mojo. *hugs*

P.S. Told ya I aced it

I think you're the magic one - our hugs and vibes just activated that magic a bit!

More *hugs*, just 'cos!

Why hello insomnia, depression, social anxiety and binge eating

 Nice to see you all again 

Also Timmins you fucking suck, this is the 4th time I have organised a cool event and nobody has shown up, not a single person. 4 years and I still ain't got friends and well it sucks, and I'm sick of crying and blaming myself for it!

I just wish I had the balls to post this on facebook, but even I know that would be social suicide!

dear hal

I would have showed up!

you are not to blame - people can suck! I hate social events for just this reason.

*hugs*

I'm also too far away, but I would have gone!

I have a bit of a whinge - It started several weeks ago, the lady who runs the yarn shop started describing me as the chatterbox - it just seems to be casually dropped into conversations - we generally get people in the shop to sit an knit, sometimes there are lots of people and so we'll all repeat conversations as people come and go. And as boardies who have met me will attest, she's not wrong. I babble. But the thing is, she never really joked like this before. It's happened every time I've gone down there that she has also been there.

And so I thought perhaps I was becoming a pest (that sounds harsh, but I really am like that - of I find friends I cling on because I desperately want to be liked) and didn't go down as often, which would then prompt her to say that I've been missed.

So I'm pretty sure she's just joking, but I end up taking it personally and going on a crying jag.

Maybe it'll be a bit different after this - she's been off sick and is away this weekend.

In bad moments, it feels like Thanksgiving Day (and Xmas) was designed to rub it in if you don't have friends or family. Gotta get back to volunteering on holidays. Then I won't be around to read an email from an ex that sends me into a downward spiral.

*hugs*

You DO have friends, we're just a little far away sometimes.

I think volunteering during 'The Season'sounds like a damn good idea, plus the chance to meet new friends! Win!

Take care of yourself
Love
Aunty Smaugy