quote:

Originally posted by Cobalt:

what does this mean? everyone talks about "chemistry" but i have absolutely no concept of it. i do not feel "chemistry." can you describe it?

Cover yourself with sodium hydroxide, then you'll get the idea cobalt

My family tends to actively self destruct and destroy each other regularly.
Girls seem entirely uninterested in ever being more than friends with me.
I have a crush on one of them despite my best efforts.
I've no idea what I'm doing with my life.

'cos I'm bald.

That's all I've got.

The other stuff - like being a bit overweight, not being in a relationship, and having a bit of a money concern because no one has rented my house yet and I'm getting concerned about cashflow - all of those I could probably change if I put some extra effort into it.

The hair - no matter what I do, that aint coming back.

So I guess, on balance, it doesn't suck to be me all that much really.

Posting in both threads:

1. my marriage is ending
2. I have some health/mental disorders that take some working out.
3. I am completely, madly in love with someone who does not feel the same way about me. In this I am completely heartbroken. I even still daydream about spending my life with him. I never see him because of all this.
4. A friend who makes me feel better about the above is 300 miles away.
5. I seriously need a job so that I can afford to live alone because of #1.
6. The prospect of living alone sucks.

quote:

Originally posted by Cobalt:
megsish: i'm sorry for hijacking your thread.

Hey, no worries. As to you and your friend - I think in a way you're talking about the same/similar stuff, you just think about it differently.

What /i/ meant by chemistry was that I think he's nice, but I'm not in love with him and I feel no sexual attraction to him. I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend (who I do love) in January and just wanted to be near him/kiss him. I don't feel anything like that for the guy I'm dating. It's very... complacent. comfortable. boring.

And today, it sucks to be me becuase I buried another mouse (there are mice in my house, my housemates set trap, but I bury them in the back yard when they are killed. sad).

quote:

Originally posted by megsish:

What /i/ meant by chemistry was that I think he's nice, but I'm not in love with him and I feel no sexual attraction to him. I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend (who I do love) in January and just wanted to be near him/kiss him. I don't feel anything like that for the guy I'm dating. It's very... complacent. comfortable. boring.

i like comfortable. comfortable is exactly what i would want. i hate exciting. exciting is just another word for stressful.

also, i'm sexually attracted to, like, a hundred different girls just sitting at the coffee shop for an hour so that's nothing so special or unique from my perspective.

quote:

Originally posted by the madness of queen monk:
But I have really given it a lot of thought: because it's still love and capable of being properly channeled, it can still be a good, energizing thing

Yeah. Good, energising, and singularly unpleasant.

People just don't take the time to eat a good breakfast anymore..less and less of them are interested in grillable bread products... gone are the days of muffins, crumpets, teacakes, waffles, buns and bagels...no, they all want cereal bars and cornflakes....hrmph!!!!

I have a small spout

I love you anyway...I think we were made for each other

Aww. Now I feel all warm inside, and i'm not even full of tea!

adds some sugar

I put bomb in squirrel's briefcase and who gets blown up? Me! This happens all the time.

I am naked and standing on a half shell with the wind blowing all around me. In the sea for crissakes! Stuck like this forever thanks to that bastard Sandro.

The Narrator's beard is greying. Old Man Time strikes all.

You may just be bread deficient!

Because I live in vacuum.

quote:

Originally posted by Cobalt:
i like comfortable. comfortable is exactly what i would want. i hate exciting. exciting is just another word for stressful.

also, i'm sexually attracted to, like, a hundred different girls just sitting at the coffee shop for an hour so that's nothing so special or unique from my perspective.

There's content-comfortable and then there's a sort of inert apathy comfortable. I'm more in the latter stage. I don't really like him strong enough to want to stay forever, but I don't dislike him enough to break up.

And I know most people don't have my issues with sexual attraction/intimacy. But I do like to have my stomach flip when I kiss the person I'm with. (kissing is as far as I go, due to Thing In The Past, which is yet another reason it sucks to be me...)

quote:

Originally posted by Cobalt:

also, i'm sexually attracted to, like, a hundred different girls just sitting at the coffee shop for an hour so that's nothing so special or unique from my perspective.

Ok, so, start by thinking of someone you're not sexually attracted to, and go from there.

Chemistry... my whole fucking life is chemistry. Go to the doctor, he gives me the paper, I give the paper to the pharmacist, the pharmacist gives me the pills. I take the pills, and spend the rest of the day feeling nothing, which is better than the alternative. I've been avoiding people for the last year or so.

And then maybe someone talks to me, and most of the time it's just, Meh, how can I get them to stop talking to me, but then sometimes someone says something that makes me want to say something back, and they say something else, and for some reason I want to keep talking, and then sometimes someone says something and it's like someone dropped a sparkler down a dry well, you can see the thoughts and the light flying down, and then it hits bottom and you can just see the casks of firecrackers and black powder by the light before the whole thing fucking goes off.

I really can't tell much qualitative difference between "love" and any other of the damn chemical reactions that go on in my brain. It just pisses me off, any more.

quote:

Originally posted by VegaRiad:

Ok, so, start by thinking of someone you're not sexually attracted to, and go from there.

i have grown attracted to people that i wasn't at first attracted to, though, by getting to know them better. positive traits become more obvious.

quote:

Chemistry... my whole fucking life is chemistry. Go to the doctor, he gives me the paper, I give the paper to the pharmacist, the pharmacist gives me the pills. I take the pills, and spend the rest of the day feeling nothing, which is better than the alternative. I've been avoiding people for the last year or so.

that kind of chemistry i understand. i've only been taking my meds for just over two months, but it's amazing how much a little powder can change how you feel.

hasn't wiped out all my feelings, though. just ramped them down a couple orders of magnitude. if the stuff you're taking makes you feel like a zombie instead of a person, maybe you need to try something different. i tried a bunch of different things before i found anything that agreed with me.

*offers hugs for your brain*