Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End The World's End Memorable quotes from real life
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Misused handkerchief mender Member  |
I always wondered what happened to confetti. ********************************************** "You guys are nuts" Homer Jay Simpson Head of the Department of Theoretical and Advanced Methods of Procrastination and Overseer of Laziness Studies at the UUP |
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the colours . . . the colours Member  |
My friend Dave in the pub:
"I've seen the dark side of hashbrowns" *** "I want to see hedge-fund managers tipped into cage fights with naked Gypsies; bank managers wrestle with lions in the O2 arena; failed regulators thrown to alligators in the Royal Docks; short sellers in pits of snakes; and distinguished City economists try their luck with sharks. They've had their heyday, their bonuses, their Porsches, their fine wines and oafish ostentation - they've had their fun. Now for ours." |
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2008 Poster of the Year! Member  |
 ____________________________________________________ tiny ball of rage. hilarious, condensed rage - Snazz I never really lost my virginity... it just sort of eventually wore off - Chris Addison Um... I'm thinking that a lot of my internal conflict and malaise comes from the tension between the life I ACTUALLY want to live, and the stories I'd love to be able to tell? - T-Rex, qwantz.com |
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has no member title Member  |
Austrian technology expert who founded company in Germany:
We're actually just industry spies. Once we have figured out how to steal Baden-Württemberg we will bring it home to Austria. Me: The whole of Baden-Württemberg? Expert: It's only a small state! __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Technical Services Administrator Member  |
Tuesday.
Patron: Can I use the computers? Me: Do you have your library card on you? Patron: My cats brought home a baby squirrel. Me. .......oh. *pause* *translates* So.... you don't have your library card? _____________________________________________________________ "He's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead." -- Agent Mulder |
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now available in colour! Member  |
oh the beauty of this comment, so abstract, so avante guard and dada etc. This person is special there is no doubt Cum homine de cane debeo congredi - Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog Cave ab homine unius libri - Beware of anyone who has just one book. |
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Rumble Fish Member  |
from cubemate, who was talking about ... something ...
"we should eat the vegetarians!" |
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Wigber Member |
1990, while working with my crack-addict colleague in a fabric store before she was fired.
Colleague: Do you have any kids? Me: Nope Colleaugue: While I wish you did, then you could tell them what to do instead of me! That one stuck ....(eventually I just had to have kids  ) |
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Starving artist - well, not starving, but if you happen to have an extra biscuit lying around . . . Member  |
Housemate and her young man:
E: Oh god, I'm going to have to not swear all weekend! D: You're from the Northside, you're screwed. E: Bollocks. ------------------------------ You are a Leprechaun. I'm not even sure what you are. Whiskey-soaked reports from your baffling Isle of Ire raise more questions than they answer. Are you a dwarf? Where's your pickax? If you're an elf, why don't you cobble? You'd think with all your gold, you could invest in some land, perhaps a title, and improve your station. Instead, you hide it in meteorologically-determined locations. You're getting killed on inflation, little friend! |
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has no member title Member |
Classic. Also: Alex from the society column, on phone: "Well, is he really a pimp or isn't he? Well then, what are you complaining about?" __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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has no member title Member |
The thing about writing articles is that people automatically assume you're the person to ask about...everything.
Woman: Where can I get the new George Soros book? Me: Er...let me check...yes, it's available over all regular bookstores in this country and over Amazon. Woman: No it isn't! I called Amazon yesterday and they didn't have it! __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Part-time avant garde shrubbery inspector who breaths fire and lets out a mighty YAHR! Member  |
(10:34:11 AM) ladyk: Ooo, my mortgage company just called
(10:35:07 AM) ladyk: They didn't even bother to ask why I was late, they just asked if I'd made the payment. (which i have) (10:39:06 AM) xtrapwr: I think at this point, most mortgage companies are happy with "I can still pay, and am trying" (10:39:31 AM) xtrapwr: as opposed to what everyone else is saying "sorry, I'm broke, and already moved out ... have fun with foreclosing my now worthless house!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Discordian Priestess, Keeper of the Golden Pine-Apple. Jesus was a community organizer.  blog or not |
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has been eaten by a grue. Member |
what scares me is that I completely understand what her logic was. ~ Consuming Souls Like Cookies and Milk Since the 1980s ~ Elite Special Force Procrastinator, trained in High Arts of Extended Coffee Breaks and Master Linguist of the Water Cooler Conversation |
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Member |
i was quite pleased with this,after all you can eat chicken.
"i think i am sweating chicken" |
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has no member title Member |
Interview with the biggest government owned property company about letting artists reside temporarily in unused buildings before they are sold:
Press rep: And then there were those baracks in Bruckneudorf where we finally carried the guy out by his feet. Me: Why? Press rep: Because he was an idiot? Me: Cool, can I have an official statement on that? Press rep: All right. Everything I say now is on the record: And then there were those baracks in Bruckneudorf where we finally carried the guy out by his feet because the asshole wouldn't leave. I love this guy. __ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Starving artist - well, not starving, but if you happen to have an extra biscuit lying around . . . Member |
Cousin, on subject of his mother's falling through the ceiling due to lapse of common sense:
Man say, don't walk on floor. Woman walk on floor. Woman fall through floor. Moral of the story - Listen to man! ------------------------------ You are a Leprechaun. I'm not even sure what you are. Whiskey-soaked reports from your baffling Isle of Ire raise more questions than they answer. Are you a dwarf? Where's your pickax? If you're an elf, why don't you cobble? You'd think with all your gold, you could invest in some land, perhaps a title, and improve your station. Instead, you hide it in meteorologically-determined locations. You're getting killed on inflation, little friend! |
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has no member title Member |
My overworked friend Bea: "Have you ever read War and Peace by Tolkien?"
__ The brickchewing, camera flaunting restroom saint formerly known as Babylon the Bride |
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Adoration of the Modii Member  |
*gigglesnort*
-- Give a man a fish, he eats for the day; Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime; Teach that man to cook, and he can feed the world.... *********************** Head chef in the Realm of Procrastination and Unproductivity, Dp.u.: "You want fries with that?" Holder for the Golden Pineapple Pin. ------------------------------------------------ If it is on the plate, its food. If it crawls off the plate; Kill it and put it back on the plate. ------------------------------------ I love small furry creatures; especially in a good sauce. |
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now available in colour! Member |
another literary quote by my friend Missy:
'American has great poets, lik Shakespeare!' oh that got a few laughs Cum homine de cane debeo congredi - Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog Cave ab homine unius libri - Beware of anyone who has just one book. |
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Sittin' at the dock of the Bayeaux Tapestry Member  |
My new boss, to my old boss:
'That tie looks like you just threw up over yourself'  "What should your role be? In that station to which God has called you, be who you are Madam. That is to say the person in relation to whom, by virtue of the principle of legitimacy, everything in your kingdom is ordered, in whom your people perceive its own nationhood, and by whose presence and dignity the national unity is upheld." -- General de Gaulle to Queen Elizabeth II, 1960 |
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Neil Gaiman www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End The World's End Memorable quotes from real life
www.NeilgaimanBoard.com www.NeilgaimanBoard.com The World's End The World's End Memorable quotes from real life© YourCopy 2001