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The zombie apocalypse meets fictional character game
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stole the last root beer
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Picture of Mischief the Polarbear
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so, you know the score... shambling zombie hordes descend on your life, turning it into a nightmare of brains, death and violence.

But how would famous fictional characters do? And I'm not talking about Rambo here. I'm talking Huckleberry Finn, or Sherlock Holmes.

So, here's the game... Poster nominates the character, next poster has to decide outcome - live, dies, zombified and maybe offer a little vignette.

For example - Richard Vernon, the principle from cast of the Breakfast Club.

Going for him is a school that is pretty much locked down, and he has the keys, together with what must amount to quite a lot of food and sporting equipment - I'm guessing they have some kind of football or ice hockey team, together with baseball bats and so forth, making this quite a good situation to be in for an extended siege.

However, he's also got a bunch of kids who he needs to feel superior about by telling them how they aren't going to ammount to shit. When you strip away the certainties of the world that the zombies have destroyed, so goes his self worth... He suffers from swift meltdown when his authority disintegrates, and he breaks from the group out of injured pride, and winds locked in his office, alone and unarmed, listening as the zombies beat at the door.

Verdict - Dead

Next up... Maverick (Tom Cruise in Top Gun)


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Posts: 8804 | Location: where do you think, you idiot? | Registered: April 08, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I remember those days in the summer sun, me, Goose and the guys playing volleyball and hitting on girls in bars. I remember flying jets. That was a long, long time ago now, or at least so it seems. It's only been three years, or so the one guy with a working watch tells us.

My military training came in handy, but a plane jockey just isn't as helpful against the undead as, say, a Green Beret. Thankfully I had the rep to fall in with a good military crowd after the shit went down and the last few years have been . . . well, hell, still, but I've survived and so have most of the guys. Turns out that firing a machinegun from a jet moving at Mach 1 translates into pretty good marksmanship and I've had plenty of opportunity to practice in the past three years. Plenty.

I'm writing this from a military bunker just north of Venice Beach. The ragtag remnants of out government have called on all military and quasi-military to a "last stand" in the Sierras. We're answering the call. I don't think it'll work, not after the mobs I've seen in Denver and Aspen, but we'll put down thousands of them before they to us, I'm sure, and it's worth it, to give future generations a chance at survival.

I know, I know, anyone who knows the selfish ass I used to be is probably going to think this note's a forgery, but it's not. My flight name is Maverick. My favourite song is Unchained Melody. I prefer blondes. Don't know what else I can do to prove my bona fides.

Well, wish me luck. And if the person reading this meets up with me, make it a clean headshot and bury me deep.

Verdict: Survived
Next: Donatello (of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)


__________
AJGraeme
"Why are there ghosts in the kitchen punching each other in the balls?" - Aidan, "Being Human"
"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried."
- G.K. Chesterton

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Posts: 48716 | Location: Concord, NH, USA | Registered: July 20, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Great wyrm of Toronto
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Donatello has always been the most thoughtful of his brothers. In addition to having a natural shell or carapace to retreat into to protect his softer muscular parts from zombie scratches and bites should it ever come down to it, and a natural aquatic nature that would allow him to fight and flee more efficiently in water than his foes, he has been trained rigorously by his ninja master Splinter to deliver accurate and lethal head-shots to his opponents with his bo staff. His staff or back-up staves (because he plans ahead) are obviously weapons that do not require ammunition and may possibly be very resilient to blunt force: taking a while for one of them to break.

This is also not discounting the fact that Donatello is an excellent reader and has probably read books on survival, knows how to create shelters and forage for food and knows the New York subway and sewer tunnels like the back of his three-fingered hand: allowing him to create strategies to divide and conquer or lure the undead into traps of his devising. He also has had experience fighting robots and aliens as well as mutants and beings from other dimensions.

This doesn't even take into account his knowledge of technical know-how and the likely chance that he could rewire Baxter Stockman's Mousers or if he had to hack into the Techno-Drome (depending on which version of Turtles you are thinking of).

In short, he would survive -- with or without his brothers.

Verdict: Survival in a Half Shell minus the Turtle Soup

Next: Frau Totenkinder (of Fables)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mythos,


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Posts: 6059 | Location: Canada | Registered: July 11, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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there are a few less children around now but you know, they died in a better way than if the zombies had reached them.

the zombies are now all under frau totenkinders command.

Verdict - Alive

Next : Harry Potter (of Harry Potter)


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I prefer to live in a country that's small, and old, and where no one would ever have the NERVE to wear a cape in public, whether they could leap tall buildings in a single bound or not.

the parrot... ...gets tiresome.
the parrot... ...i ate him.


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Posts: 20599 | Location: England | Registered: June 21, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
stole the last root beer
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The guy's at Hogwarts - a castle, protected by charms, barriers and a whole host of top level wizarding tutors. The zombies aren't getting in.

Plus what with being able to teleport, fly on broomsticks and the ability to petrify things with a single word, the wizarding world is pretty well set to survive virtually unscathed.

Although Harry is a llightning rod for peril, when peril tracks him down it also tends to supply him with a convenient device hidden in a room that he stumbles on. In this case, maybe a de-zombiifer or a wide beam head exploder. However, since wizards are essentially shit at any organisation (employing demonic creatures of darkness to guard your worst prisoners. Seriously?) this device comes too late for the muggle world, who all succumb.

Since the elimination (or domination, who's quibbling) of muggles was a big part of Voldemorts plan, they've won, and Dumbledore and Harry and the other remnants of muggle lovers are forced into hiding, conducting a guerilla campaign for a war that is already lost.

Verdict: The era of the muggle is over. All hail the great plague. alive, but in a world he no longer recognises, no longer a hero, but a twisted remnant, hated by all right thinkers.

He is legend.


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Posts: 8804 | Location: where do you think, you idiot? | Registered: April 08, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Eaten. In seconds. Although it takes at least half a dozen zombies to do so, and one of them eats so much its head explodes.

Buckaroo Banzai.


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AJGraeme
"Why are there ghosts in the kitchen punching each other in the balls?" - Aidan, "Being Human"
"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried."
- G.K. Chesterton

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Posts: 48716 | Location: Concord, NH, USA | Registered: July 20, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Vampiric Scottie-bat trainer

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Since kicks to the groin aren't really effective against zombies, he gets disembowled as soon as his jet car runs out of fuel.

Hmm... Let's try Indiana Jones jr.
 
Posts: 8222 | Location: Bärlin | Registered: October 28, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
stole the last root beer
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the charisma vacuum in crystal skull? oh, please someone kill him


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Posts: 8804 | Location: where do you think, you idiot? | Registered: April 08, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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oops - I meant HENRY Jones jr - Harrison Ford as opposed to Sean Connery (Henry Jones sr).  
 
Posts: 8222 | Location: Bärlin | Registered: October 28, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Since kicks to the groin aren't really effective against zombies, he gets disembowled as soon as his jet car runs out of fuel.

Hmm... Let's try Indiana Jones jr.


Ha! I wondered that too, but then I wandered off to make pie.


Minister of Kraftwerk in the Realm of U & P, Order of the Pineapple with frond for advancement in Nap studies.


The brain: not always amenable to logic. ~Hive

 
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The lesser Jones survives the Zombie apocalypse since the other zombies assume he is one of them. This works out, until he is decapitated by a fellow survivor who believes he has succumbed to the pandemic. fin

Next up:

Abe Vigoda as Fish


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Posts: 6977 | Location: Fahrvergnügen | Registered: December 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Fish was and always has been a Zombie, noone knew it. Now he is the leader of the undead.

Mal from Firefly


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Posts: 2485 | Location: Page 42 | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Malcolm Reynolds is an epitome of what a survivor is. Chances are, for the most part he would be running away from the zombies on different planets in his Firefly Serenity with his crew. However, he can also make the hard decisions should his any of his crew get infected. After all, he has had to deal with and dispatch Reaver victims before this.

In fact, his dealings with Reavers give him an added psychological advantage to dealing with the undead given their berserker similarities. He wouldn't succumb to the fear and horror associated with them given his experiences and his "wise-ass levity." Since Mal is an excellent shot with his Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B, he would eventually figure out that head-shots take the creatures down.

However, he would plan out his attack. It is possible that is randomness might also get him killed, but his inability to trust combined with his combat experience from the Brown Coats would make him very formidable a zombie opponent indeed. And if he is cornered ... he will do something to take that horde down: maybe even lead a fleet of Reavers to them.

Malcolm Reynolds is not one of the last of Brown Coats for nothing.

Verdict: Survival

Next: Motoko Kusanagi (or The Major) From Ghost in the Shell


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here
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quote:
Originally posted by Mythos:

Next: Motoko Kusanagi (or The Major) From Ghost in the Shell


Zombies ignore her completely as there's not enough biological components in her to attract their attention. She manages to rally some survivors and they keep a compound of about one city block downtown clear of zombies for almost a year.

Outside, survivors, and later the zombies themselves ransack her safehouses and, as things get worse, spare parts to replace components become hard to procure. Since she'[s made of top-of-the-line components this isn't a problem at first.

Verdict: Survival in the short term, but eventually succumbing to an accumulation of system failures and unpatched bugs. After about 10 years, she enters standby mode and fails to restart.

Next: Mary Poppins

This message has been edited. Last edited by: The Boy™ PhD,


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Posts: 2813 | Location: Penn State University | Registered: May 28, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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>> Mary Poppins

Flying around London wif my umbrella, la-la-laa...

Naughty people looking up my dress as I descend, la-la-laaa...

Naughty, smelly people, la-la-l-

Hey those aren't people! OMIGOD!

*blows madly inside umbrella in a failing attempt to stay afloat*


Result: A spoonful of DEAD

Next: The Most Interesting Man In The World
 
Posts: 32901 | Location: smooshy mashed pertato mountian | Registered: June 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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TMIMITW sits at his banquette with his fawning sycophants, looking into the camera while his beer sits, unattended. The lack of refrigeration of the last few weeks has seriously cramped his style.

The 'Man's life hasn't really changed much; he was a zombie before there were, you know, zombies...

The Greatest American Hero, next:


(not his real name)
 
Posts: 6861 | Location: darned eff I know | Registered: June 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
here
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quote:
Originally posted by duncan s.:

The Greatest American Hero, next:


He's invulnerable and saves many. Most of the saved get themselves killed off through stupidity and infighting over dwindling resources. The aliens come back and retrieve the super suit. "There's not really much here to protect anymore," they say. He doesn't last long after that.

Verdict: DEAD

Next: Benjamin Linus


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quote:
Originally posted by 男の子™:
Next: Benjamin Linus

He's a man with a plan, always three steps ahead of everyone else. Even with Jacob's confidence in him broken, Ben has multiple aces up his sleeve -- usually in the form of guns, nuclear devices, or other, less predictable things. Zombies -- even in great numbers -- are no match for the button on the machine hidden in the buried hatch on the ass end of the Island. He presses it, the zombies fall to the ground, stunned by a sonic blast from the comm towers. Another button, and a wave of electromagnetic energy rips across the landscape, pulverizing all bodies in its wake.

Verdict: Very much alive, if somewhat frazzled for having tipped his hand.

Next: Spike (AKA William the Bloody) from the Buffyverse
 
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Great wyrm of Toronto
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Chances are, zombies would avoid Spike entirely: especially since his human body is physically dead. They probably wouldn't have that sense about him and even if they did, he has centuries of fighting skills and techniques as well as personal experience with the undead to successfully combat him.

He would probably need a blood supply though, which he could do by inviting survivors into a lair that he made in the post-apocalyptic Los Angles and feed off of a voluntary blood bank. He could also feed off of animals that he could raise in his compound.

However, if he runs out of living blood due to the lack of living beings around, Spike will undoubtedly shrivel up and go insane. He would weaken and could go into a torpor, but given Spike's warrior devil-may-care spirit he would probably rush out for one last hurrah completely and utterly drunk off his bloomin' onion.

Verdict: One last heroic bugger goodbye, unless he protects his compound.

Next: Bod from The Graveyard Book


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>> Bod

"MY PARENT'S WERE MURRRRDEERRRREEEED!"

"Arggh... criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and I need a symbol to scares the bejeezus out of them, so..."

*zombie comes crashing through the window*

"That's it! I shall become a zombie! Alfred! Prep for emergency surgery!... Now take a big chomp on my forearm, you ugly- OW!"

... and umpteen million comic panels and eight sidekicks in Peter Pan costumes later, Bod couldn't bring one single villain to justice -- most likely because he was more interested in crunching through their nommy scalps like they were crisp apples -- so Grant Morrison was hired as Bod's P.R. guy, and soon nothing in Bod's universe made any sense and every adventure seemed unfinished.


Next: Zaphod Beeblebrox
 
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