I looked for a discussion on this and we don't seem to have one. It's a subject that's obviously quite close to my heart at the moment, and something I'd like to understand more about.

Anyhow, I have now been diagnosed with 'an eating disorder not otherwise specified'. However, the doctor I saw said that there is discussion in the field at the moment about a new type of disorder called 'Purging Disorder'

I did some looking and this is what I found. It actually rang a lot of bells with me. The most interesting things were:

*People with purging disorder are more likely to experience differing levels of seratonin as they are not boosting them by binging

*This is more likely to lead to depression or anxiety than other eating disorders

*People with purging disorder are more likely to be impulsive - whether by promiscuity, shoplifting, spending sprees or binge drinking.

These all relate to me a fair amount, in my opinion. I also found it quite reassuring to know that I'm obviously not alone in not having 'typical bulemia'

Anyhow, I'll now pass the baton over to everyone else. But I appreciate that this is a very sensitive issue for lots of people and this thread is as much for objective discussion as it is for subjective experiences.

purging ? throwing up ?

oh god;..

i never had any eating disorder, except maybe while the last months of pregnancy ... when i was feeling like i had to fill myself with any food around, feeling guilty my baby won't have enough.. and now watching what's left on my hips, stomach and but ... and angry 'bout it. I hate my body and shape now, but not enough to be anorexic ... and still eating ... while i need to do a serious controled diet.

I feel like you're suffering a lot of this ... is you doctor gave you a treatment for that ? shrink ?

Péné

quote:

purging ? throwing up ?

well, laxative abuse in my case actually.

quote:

is you doctor gave you a treatment for that ?

yes, I'm on the waiting list for individual therapy. The list is long, but they're going to see me again in 6 weeks to check how I'm doing, and to give me an indication of how far up the list I am.

And you never got to tired with it, used to hear that laxative causes a phosphor low and that get you very tired.

i know stop by yourself is impossible ...

i guess the right question to ask is : why do you do that ?
maybe it's a painful question ...

Péné

Unfortunately, if isn't as easy as a "tramatic event".. sometimes, it's just a matter of "wiring".. some people just live on a nerve..
many eating disorders are socialogical sans physchological... the "I need to be thin to be beautiful" thought..
then you have folk like me who feel they have to eat everything on thier plate and end up over eating because they think they don't know when the next meal is going to be... in my case it was because for several years, we didn't know when the next meal would be.. or how much we would get...

*raises hand*

binge eater
compulsive sugar consumption

i love food anyway, but i went througha horrible time awhen i was first at university and one of the effects of this was trying to fill the void of depression with food - pizza, cake, donuts, - the volume i could eat in one sitting was amazing.

i know i dont really want these things, but i want something and my brian is now wired to think its cake

i am better than i was, but always so close to relapse.
maybe i am just more controlled

have lots of weight to lose because of this and its a vicious circkle - the heavier i am the less self confident and the more depressed and then the more i comfort eat which makes me put on weight and lose more onfidence...

certain people around me are not exactly... helpful with this

I'm with you there, sweets..
my mom has always been "small" and I take after my dad in build.. I was 150 pounds when I was 12 and as tall as my mom.. she got it in her mind that I was obese (150 pounds and 5'7").. it didn't help matters that I have a round face. Mom had me on just about every fad diet from the 80's she could find.. I'm lucky that fenfen made me throw up or I could be having any number of problems.. and at that time, I was incredibly body shy.. one day I decided to cut pre-sweetened drinks out of my diet (sodas mostly).. I dropped 50 pounds.. note this was after I had reached 210 and was 5'9" and trying to get in the navy.. I got a wake up call when they had to tape me to determine my body fat.. I was at 6% and still weighing in at 165 pounds.. 8-12% is healthy body fat for a females.. I actally was asked to put on a little weight for my health.. my mom still says that I was always "Big".. "Big" in her family equates to "obese" and there are several "big" ladies on her side of the family.. I have to admit, I need to do some more exercise and get my weight down to my comfortable 175 pounds.. I feel healthiest at that weight... I came to th conclusion a long time ago that I will never be a Twiggy or a Kate Moss and there are several who are larger and smaller than I am..
We have a big problem in the US.. most chain stores cater to the "smaller" clientell.. the smaller sizes are more colorful and cheerful then the larger sizes.. even in shoes.. you go over a size 7 and the shoes get clunkier with fewer colors... (I'm a size 9½W-10 women's)

binge eating IMHO is very difficult to break.. eating is filling a need.. we need to eat.. the trick is to realize when we need to eat sans when we want to eat... unlike most addictions where they have a want that has turned into a need.

I was a bulimic for about a year in my early 20's.

I really don't know what started it (actually, there were a lot of made for tv movies about it at the time, which disgusted and fascinated me), but what made me quit was after a particularly violent retching episode, I had a ton of broken capillaries around my eyes. I freaked...I didn't know if they were permanent or not. So no more throwing up.

During the same time, I was also diagnosed with Grave's Disease (hyper thyroid), lost 15 pounds, and was treated, so I don't know if that contributed to my mental malaise.

Never used laxatives or starved myself...I LOVE food. If anything, I'll exercise more.

quote:

Originally posted by saharial:
*raises hand*

binge eater......

....have lots of weight to lose because of this and its a vicious circkle - the heavier i am the less self confident and the more depressed and then the more i comfort eat which makes me put on weight and lose more onfidence...

This is me, though mine is/was a symptom of my depression. About 1/2 the people I know with depression have an associated eating disorder.

But yeah Binge eating is bulemia without throwing up. You eat till you are sick and then feel utterly miserable for a bit.

At my most sever depression point I would knock back:

-a 2 litre tub of ice cream
-2 large bags of potato chips
-2 large family sized bars of chcolate
-2 packets of lollies, usually cadburies chocolate fudges and nz eskimos which are like hard marshmellow things like those banana ones.

That would take about 30mins. It is a calorie intake of 5x the daily reccomended amount in 30mins.

*sigh*

Hardly surprising that I put on weight everytime I got/get depressed.

However binge eating never gets mentioned as an eating disorder which really pisses me off, it tends to get lumped in with comfort eating, but you can't look at that list above and tell me thats normal!

I've always been overweight, except right after I was born (I was not fully grown, because the stupid communist doctors miscalculated the due date and just induced).
At first everyone called it "baby fat" and said I'd outgrow it one day. They didn't count on my love for chocolate...
Now I'm just plain fat.
I think sometimes that by eating (sometimes binge eating), I literally try to swallow my sorrows and frustrations. But on top of any psychological reasons, I just love food. And lots of it.

quote:

However binge eating never gets mentioned as an eating disorder which really pisses me off, it tends to get lumped in with comfort eating, but you can't look at that list above and tell me thats normal!

Hal, I don't know if it's more of a recent development but all the literature I've read about eating disorders states binge eating as a disorder in its own right, and as separate to bulemia or comfort eating.

I got a complicated relationship with food. I tend to fluctuate between binge eating and super-healthy eating. For me the roots are my body image issues and family-inherited habits.

I have been doing some thinking over the years and I think my body image issues come from developing quite early -I had a round bum and hips and more fat than other girls my age. This led me to think I was fat. On my mom's side of the family everyone's struggles with weight, and they've all been on a diet for most part of their lives as far as I can remember so it was natural for me to think I was becoming fat too. I decided to go on my first diet when I was 12, convinced I was a disgusting fat kid, and my mom not only went on a diet with me but got angry with me when I quit. (That's how normal it is at home to be on a diet -it's the default state!)

I've also inherited the idea that if I'm not able to stay within my desired weight and/or binge then I'm weak, and disgusting. She doesn't express this in these words, of course. It's something I've only recently realised.

When I'm depressed and anxious, I turn to food -cakes, biscuits, chocolate, pies, bread... Whenever I try to get my life back under control, I go überhealthy -no baked stuff, no sugar, loads of fruit and vegetables... Sometimes I take it too seriously and I'll stand hungry in front of a shop wanting to eat something but unable to decide, worrying about the calories and the carbs content and the sugar in stuff that most appeals to me, struggle between the part of me that wants the most fatty, sugary thing on display to the other part that tells me to buy an apple. As if one single snack was going to make me obese.

These days I'm almost in a balance. The nutrition therapist I saw really helped line out how I should be eating, and thanks to the advice I don't have huge cravings any more and don't binge.

(I still struggle with body image, though, and I'm still convinced I should be thinner, even though I also know I'm OK. Weird, huh?)

@cloverheart - itsnot wierd to struggle with what you thin you should be and what is normal.

food issues will always give a varying degree of body dismorphia

i'm working on my issues, but a lot of it stems form using fat as a way of protecting myself and hiding from things

eg - i havenmt had a boyfriend in years so as long as i am overweight i can say its because of that because to think it might be becasue of my personality is way too painful.

i have been overweight since i was a teenager - i turned veggie and hit puberty at the same time, and i'm convinced even now that the increase in cheese intake has a LOT to do with hit.

however, it's now all about self control of which i have, viz and to wit, none.

i'm not so prone to binging as i used to be, but i will eat unhealthy food FAR too often. and of course, i am still overweight. i lost about 3 stone (um, 35lbs or about 17 kilos i think?) over a year, and i've put almost all of it back on, of course.

i need to lose weight quite radically as i feel crappy and unhealthy, and i've gone back to being out of breath after even a minor bit of exercise. *sigh*

i also think my boyfriend is insane because he genuinely thinks i'm not fat. crazy.

i just reliazed something, let's face it, i'm not fat, i have 15kg i would love to give away, but that's not fat.
But reading you i thought, i'm normal ? yeah ... i'm normal, until i turned my head and saw the armchair and saw me in it, eating sunflower seeds, drinking coke, watching TV, i picture me ... and realized i'm not normal, ok not that serious compare to you guys, but i'm eating when i'm bored.

and i really hate the sensation when my thighs can feel my stomach touch them when i'm sitting.

Péné

When I was 17, the best friend of a good friend of mine (19 years old) died of heart failure caused by bulimia. It was horrible, and definitely a wake up call for us all. I think most girls I knew back then dealt with a smorgasboard of body image issues, worried about their weight, binged and went on crash diets or strict health regimes, and often fasted. (And looking back, we were all just your average, gorgeous young women and it didn't make any sense.)

I have to admit I have a somewhat loaded relationship with food, too. I have a fast metabolism and skinny genes to begin with (no curves, no hips, not much in the breast department, *sigh*) and sometimes when I'm super stressed out or going through other kind of emotional turmoil, I totally lose all my appetite and have this permanent nausea that makes eating anything really difficult. I can go for days just pushing food around on my plate and wincing. (And the subsequent lack of proper nutrition has a very adverse effect on my mental well being, so it quickly becomes a vicious circle). So I've had to learn to be really conscious of my overall well being to avoid that.

I don't think it's ever been an eating disorder, though, at least not since I outgrew the teenage hysteria - I've never had any of the meticulousness of anorexia or anything - but people have occasionally worried about it, when I've been really too thin. That really sucks, too - one time in Portugal, when I was hospitalized for an aggressive gastric infection, our study counsellor started a rumour it was because of anorexia. I was mortified.

I'm pretty healthy these days, BMI in the normal range (I think; I seldom weigh myself because after all these years it still might make me a little neurotic). I eat pretty healthily, though, but that's just because I know junk food, sugar and carbs make me prone to mood swings and fatigue.

I hope everyone finds what they need to help them out. I eat out of boredom (and because I'm not smoking) So no surprises there. What worries me a little is that if I'm at home I'll just nibble all day long. Not healthy things - just chocolate - and use it as an excuse not to get on with things. The computer's good for that too. I'll spend all day on here following links and making lists of films I want to see one day. If I start looking at countries it's a nightmare - all those places I want to go - and cannot afford to.

Just need some self-discipline I think. I have a little - I do go to work on work days and don't have days off for no reason - but that's because I won't be at home feeling guilty for not doing any housework or eating all the kids snacks!

My thoughts are with you guys when you're down. I'm sorry I can't offer more.

so, although I'm not 100% sure, it looks everyone that has responded with an eating disorder here female?

I've never known a guy who's said he has one, which doesn't necessarily mean i haven't met one, just that they've either never been diagnosed or they've not admitted it. I'd lean towards the first, since I've known a fair few guys diagnosed with mental problems.

I do know that the way mental problems manifest themselves are changable - there are fashions, for want of a better word - and by this I don't mean it's faddish or the individuals are making a fashion statement, but that, for example, you barely get anyone having fainting fits compared with 60 years ago (and that those too largely happened in younger women).

[/ramble]

Finally, Internet access.

I tend toward purging and anorexia. I've always had a problem with feeling big, but my symptoms become worse when I am emotionally distressed.

I haven't done anything in a while, but my body and mind are wired to react violently without it being forced.

(also have a seratonin deficiency, but that and OCD run in the family)

I have a "Is it just me" question, but I don't want to offend anyone (a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend).
Here goes:

Whenever I'm around other people, mostly girls, and someone starts talking about their weight ("I've put on three pounds, I look gross!" and that kind of talk), I get incredibly self-conscious. I always feel like the comments are, in a weird way, directed at me, as if to provoke a reaction. And then I get angry with whoever said it, because, well, if she is already "gross" in her (and everybody else's) eyes, then what am I???
So, is it just me being paranoid (always an option)? Are they just expressing their own body image issues? Fishing for compliments? Or are they being mean?
It's really bugging me, and I never know what to say.