I'm not very sure about the writing so I'm hoping some of you readers can help me out. This isnt the final draft by a long shot, just quick typing to get the story on paper(since people seem to hate to read scripts).

The art is by Renzo Podesta. He's very good at what he does.



Cover



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page 5 *unlettered*

I like it so far and you're right, the art is good. The beginning is catchy.

I guess I would have seen the troll invasion and their escape more detailed (we don't know why the trolls attacked ans such) unless it's only a minor detail in the story. Also, it's not clear, were the trolls looking for them in particular? If so, were they special? Royalty or something?

It also depends on the length of this and what you intend to do with it. If it's to put down the whole story quickly and shortly so you can pitch it to editors or agents I guess it's ok. The published one would have some of the sections expanded I suppose.

Anyway, good luck with it.

There are going to be 23 pages, where those questions will be answered.

The Trolls are invading their country to take it over completely, because the Ogres are poverty stricken and defenseless. I'll go into it a bit more in the story later.

They were looking for ALL the ogres, and its later revealed that they put them into camps not to different from ww2 camps hitler used.

They arent royalty, they are very poor and could only barely get out by themselves, they had to leave their family behind, to die.

Its partially based on the Armenian Genocide from early in the 20th century(I think it was 1915, or about there). Its also partly based on the Cambodian genocide, and what is going on in Darfur right now.

I don't know exactly what to say about the writing but so far I like it.

The concept here is very good -- kind of like what I know of Maus in a way. The War of the Trolls against the Ogres ... that is what a lot of conflicts probably seem like towards various other nations of human beings. Very realistic, very dehumanizing, and so very human. I know I have not seen the entire thing, and I should not judge it by this much.

But I do like what I see.

And I sympathize about the scripts, Eldi. They are hard to read, and write, lol. Mine are worse because they have no page layout numbers for various panels, Something I will have to play out by ear I guess.

Keep this up. Some updates would be excellent.

Thanks man, Ill keep you guys updated.

I really like this so fa. I am intrigued by the Troll/Ogre war thing, and the art is very good. Keep it up!

Eldi, it looks fantastic and reads very well. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this!

nice.