CRAWLING ON THE BUS FLOOR IS A SURE SIGN OF TOO MUCH SUGAR


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali are sharing a bus seat. They have their knees raised. Sanjay is looking at something below the level on the panel. Agali is trying to read a book.

SANJAY: There goes Grubby.

AGALI: Doesn't he know it's not nice to interrupt a girl while she's trying to read?


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Sanjay is grinning at Agali. She is frowning at her book. They have lowered their legs.

SANJAY: He must have missed that memo.

AGALI: Hmph.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Sanjay has raised his knees and is looking at something below the panel again. Agali is stomping down on something below the panel.

SANJAY: Here he comes again.

AGALI: Go sit down, Grubby! You're bugging me!


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sanjay and Agali are sitting normally again. They are looking at each other.

SANJAY: I'm just glad I don't have to wash his clothes.

AGALI: Odd. Most boys have an instinctive urge to return to their natural state of filth.

THAT'S BECAUSE A STOP SIGN IS A DEFENSIVE BONUS


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali are sharing a bus seat. Agali is looking out the window.

AGALI: Did you know that the lights on the stop sign start flashing about halfway during the flip away from the side of the bus? And the sign moves at a slightly different pace than the safety bar on the front?


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Sanjay is looking at Agali.

SANJAY: Yeah, but they're not sturdy enough to use as weapons.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Agali is glaring at Sanjay.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sanjay has raised his hands defensively. Agali is frowning at him.

SANJAY: What? I checked.

AGALI: Like a mass the size of this bus need attachments to do damage.

JUST LIVING MAKES MY EARS RING


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali are getting off the bus Sanjay has stepped off, and . Agali is right behind him.

AGALI: I wish one of our parents would drive us to school.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali has stepped off the bus. Sanjay has turned to face her.

SANJAY: Why's that?


>>Panel 3 - SBI. The school bus door has swung shut behind them. Agali looks exasperated. Sanjay is smiling ruefully.

AGALI: The bus is sooo loud.

SANJAY: Our peer group has a poor grasp of volume control, doesn't it?


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Agali is frowning and has stuck a finger in her ear. Sanjay looks mildly surprised.

AGALI: It makes my ears ring.

SANJAY: Is that what that is? I always assumed it was a psychic residue of the school day's final bell.

THE MOST LOGICAL ONES WOULD BE SOUTHERN OR NEW ENGLAND, BUT NO


>>Panel 1 - Agali is on the floor, playing with a doll. Reg is sitting on the couch, watching television.

TELEVISION: You can't expect Iran will keep any agreement it makes with Europe or America about its nuclear program.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali is looking up at the television. Reg is looking at Agali.

AGALI: What's this about? I thought we took down the leader of Iran.

REG: No honey, that was Iraq. They're talking about I-R-A-N not I-R-A-Q.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Both are watching the television.

TELEVISION: When you look at Iran's stubborn pursuit of WMDs and its close ties to terrorists organizations, including Al Queda, it's clear this administration attacked the wrong nation.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Agali and Reg are looking at each other.

AGALI: Is this why my teachers say learning to spell is important?

REG: No, we don't actually know how well the President can spell because he's handlers keep him out of those situations. We only know he mispronounces words with no relation to any known regional accents.

OF COURSE, SITTING THERE AND GLARING AT EACH OTHER HAS ITS PLACE, TOO


>>Panel 1 - Agali is leaning on her father's leg. Reg is sitting on the couch in front of the television.

AGALI: I thought nukes were bad.

REG: They are, hon.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali looks confused.

AGALI: Then why does Iran want them?

REG: Well, their neighbors Russia and Pakistan have them, their neighbors Afghanistan and Iraq were just invaded by us, and we have a history of messing with their internal politics. We make them a bit nervous.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Agali is frowning. Reg looks rueful.

AGALI: That's not nice of us.

REG: The flip side is that they've spent the last two and half decade funding terrorists that have attacked us or our friends.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Agali has raised an eyebrow at Reg. He is shrugging back.

AGALI: And some think we should be the ones talking to them?

REG: Yeah well, talking just frays the nerves of the diplomats. The alternative involves more wear and tear on our countries' infrastructures.

Monday

DINNER DATE WITH A DOMESTIC GODDESS


>>Panel 1 - Ganesh is sitting in a fancy restaurant and reading his menu.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Ganesh is looking up from his menu and smiling. Across from him sits the Greek goddess Hestia, who as abruptly appeared in the seat.

GANESH: Right on time, Devine Hestia.

HESTIA: Of course, Ganesha. I certainly wouldn't miss our standing century dates.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Hestia is looking around.

GANESH: Well, I hope you enjoy the food. I've become rather fond of this restaurant in the past decade.

HESTIA: Are we in the U.S.?


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Hestia is smiling tightly and has raised her eyebrows.

GANESH: Yeah, I started working in Hollywood.

HESTIA: Ah. That would explain the dubious quality of American cinema's more recent efforts.



Tuesday

10,000 ANGELS IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE


>>Panel 1 - Ganesh and Hestia are seated in a restaurant. Ganesh is handing his menu to a waiter. Hestia has an eyebrow raised at Ganesh.

GANESH: Actually, Hestia, I'm working mostly in the grunt work of television commercials.

HESTIA: Deliciously wasting your talent?


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Ganesh is smiling pleasantly at Hestia.

GANESH: No, no just having a bit of fun and earning some mad money. Mother's husband is the dancer in the family, so I'm no great loss to Bollywood.


>>Panel 3 - SBI.


HESTIA: Odd. With all the growth in India, I'd figured you'd be hip deep in your native land.


>>Panel 4 - SBI.

GANESH: I've set it up so it doesn't need my constant attention. The invention of the microchip was a wonderful thing.

HESTIA: Certainly better than the scribes we used to use in the old days.



Wednesday

THEY DON'T EVEN FADE AWAY


>>Panel 1 - Ganesh and Hestia are seated in a restaurant, eating their salads.

GANESH: So, how's the pantheon?

HESTIA: Athena had a fling with Anansi, but they seem to have moved on. Otherwise, much the same as always.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Hestia looks just a bit sad.

GANESH: I've seen that some of them have been doing bit work for the comic book industry.

HESTIA: Yeah, they're keeping busy.

GANESH (continued): That's good.

HESTIA (continued): I suppose, but it's just not the same as the old days.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Ganesh is reassuringly patting Hestia's forearm with his trunk.

GANESH: Well, you Greeks are a comfort to the rest of us. It's nice to know that there is life after worshippers.

HESTIA: Sure, but there's something to be said of the charm of girls dedicating their virginity to you.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Ganesh is smirking. Hestia has raised an eyebrow and is pointing at Ganesh.

GANESH: Yes.

HESTIA: And that is why we never dated.



Thursday

DAILY ACTIVITIES FOR THE FORMERLY DEVINE


>>Panel 1 - Ganesh and Hestia are seated in a restaurant, eating a meal. Ganesh is lifting a potato with his trunk and is lifting it to his mouth.

GANESH: So what have you been doing?

HESTIA: Running a chimney cleaning service.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Ganesh is chewing his food and glaring at Hestia. She is looking at her plate while trying to restrain a grin.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Hestia is looking at Ganesh blandly.

GANESH: Wanna try again?

HESTIA: Okay. I've been involved in a titanic struggle to keep the forces of Chaos from consuming Muncie, Indiana.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Ganesh is pointing at Hestia with his trunk. Hestia is smiling ruefully.

GANESH: Okay, the first was far too literal for your sphere of influence, and the second was too absurd.

HESTIA: Well, I thought puttering around the house and playing the Sims sounded far too mundane.

ALSO, DOESN'T HIS NAME END WITH AN 'A'?

>>Panel 1 - Ganesh and Hestia are seated in a restaurant, eating dessert. Hestia is looking at Ganesh, puzzled.

HESTIA: I just noticed something


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Ganesh is looking up at Hestia. She is pointing at him.

GANESH: Hm?

HESTIA: Shouldn't you have more arms?


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Ganesh is shrugging.

GANESH: Oh, that.

GANESH (continued): They're in storage. Walking around with an elephant head freaks people out as it is.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Ganesh has his head cocked to the side while he thinks. Hestia has raised an eyebrow back at him.

GANESH: Although not as much as you might think.

HESTIA: Well, you are living in Los Angeles.

PLEASE DON'T ASK


>>Panel 1 - Sain is standing in Icingbell's doorway. He looks rumpled and exhausted.

SAIN: Hey.

ICINGBELL: Oo, babe. You look pooped.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. The couple has moved over to her couch. Icingbell is standing over Sain. He is flopping down onto the couch.

ICINGBELL: Long day?

SAIN: Huh!


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Sain is looking up at Icingbell.

ICINGBELL: Want to talk about it?

SAIN: Well, it involved a car battery, a chisel, and six hours of labor. Can we just leave it at that?


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Icingbell has raised an eyebrow at Sain. He looks puzzled.

ICINGBELL: Sometimes I'm surprised the unions don't bust Ganesh for the things he has you do on the set.

SAIN: Who said this was work related?

BLOW STUFF UP WITH THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD


>>Panel 1 - Sain is flopped on Icingbell's couch. Icingbell is seated next to him. They are watching television.

SAIN: What are you watching?

ICINGBELL: Mythbusters.

TELEVISION: Yeah, are you sure that will be enough shielding?


>>Panel 2 - SBI.

TELEVISION: BOOM


>>Panel 3 - SBI.

TELEVISION: Cool, it knocked the window clean off.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Icingbell wears a small smile.

SAIN: That's some very orange facial hair.

ICINGBELL: And one of them wears it in a style that hasn't been in style for at least a century. Makes me all nostalgic.

TELEVISION: You know - this is why I wear a bulletproof vest under my lab coat.

DECENT DETERMINED IN SQUARE INCHES


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali in the yard, looking down at a kitten.

SANJAY: A kitty-cat!

AGALI: Hello, Mr. Kitten.

MR. KITTEN: mew


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali is picking Mr. Kitten up.

SANJAY: Are you new to the neighborhood?

AGALI: Come here, sweetie.

MR. KITTEN: meew


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Sanjay is pointing at the kitten's neck. Agali has him cuddled in the crook of her arm.

SANJAY: He's not wearing a collar, Agali.

AGALI: Oh. I think our authorities frown on nudism in our feline population, Mr. Kitten. You should really remember your neckwear when you come out to play.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sanjay is scratching the kitten's head. Agali is looking at Sanjay. Mr. Kitten has his eyes closed in pleasure.

SANJAY: Doesn't really seem fair, that. The gargoyles go around without a stitch unless they're working.

AGALI: Like the adults on this planet are known for their consistency.

MR. KITTEN: rrrrrrrrrr

ONE WITH LEWIS AND CLARK ON THE BACK


>>Panel 1 - Tok is weeding his garden. Agali and Sanjay are running up to him. Mr. Kitten is dangling from Agali's hands.

AGALI: Tok! Tok! Look what we found!


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Tok is standing up at looking at the kitten. Agali and Sanjay are smiling at the animal.

AGALI: Isn't he cute?

MR. KITTEN: mew


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Agali and Sanjay are looking at Sanjay expectantly.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sanjay has crossed his arms and is looking smugly at Agali.

TOK: Okay, kids, when the leftovers in the fridge start to grow fur, you're supposed to throw them out.

SANJAY: See - sarcasm. You owe me a nickel.

VALUE OF DUBIOUS SKILLS


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali are talking with Tok. Mr. Kitten is cuddled in the crook of Agali's arm.

AGALI: His name is Mr. Kitten.

TOK: I thought your mothers wouldn't let you have pets.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali and Sanjay are looking at each other intently.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Sanjay and Agali are looking back at Tok. Tok looks annoyed.

SANJAY: Are you telling us to lie to our mothers, Tok?

TOK: No, that is not what I was saying.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sanjay and Agali look intrigued. Tok is hiding his face with his hands.

SANJAY: Cause we're certainly willing to.

AGALI: Yeah, we're going to be CEOs when we grow up.

SANJAY (continued): Or politicians.

AGALI (continued): Or writers.

SANJAY (continued): So the practice will probably do us good.

MR. KITTEN: rrrrrrrr

Thursday

ATTACK THE ENEMY FOOT!


>>Panel 1 - Sanjay and Agali are lounging in the grass. Between them, Sanjay is teasing Mr. Kitten with a long blade of grass. Agali looks a bit depressed.

SANJAY: At least we have the afternoon with Mr. Kitten.

AGALI: I suppose.


>>Panel 2 - SBI.

SANJAY: That's whole hours of interaction with an impressionable youngster.

AGALI: Yeah, but we won't get to see the long-term effects of our efforts.


>>Panel 3 - SBI.

SANJAY: Well, our teachers seem able to live with that regret.

AGALI: That doesn't mean I can.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Mr. Kitten has abandoned the blade of grass and attacked Sanjay's foot. Agali is looking at Sanjay with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

SANJAY: So I guess we can cross schoolteacher of your list of potential careers.

AGALI: Well, yeah. Can imagine trying to deal with the little monsters that kids are today?



Friday

NO ONE IS MEAN ALL THE TIME


>>Panel 1 - Agali and Sanjay are standing and looking sadly down at Mr. Kitten. Deep in the background, Tok can been seen working in his garden.

AGALI: We gotta go, Mr. Kitten. Our Moms won't let either of us keep you, so I guess you're on your own.

SANJAY: Yeah. Sorry.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Agali and Sanjay have left. Mr. Kitten is looking after them, confused. Tok has disappeared from the background.

MR. KITTEN: mew?


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Tok has reappeared in the foreground. He is placing a bowl on the ground in front of Mr. Kitten. The kitten is looking into the bowl.

TOK: Here.

MR. KITTEN: mew


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Tok has his arms crossed and is looking down at Mr. Kitten. The kitten has his face buried in the bowl.

TOK: Don't get used to the tuna. You're going on regular cat food as soon as I can get to the store.

WHY "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" IS PAST ITS EXPIRATION DATE


>>Panel 1 - The Gargoyles are sitting on their couch, watching television. They are grinning in anticipation. Clutter from opened Christmas presents litters the floor.

TELEVISION 1: What about Mary, Clarence?

TELEVISION 2: You're not going to like it George!


>>Panel 2 - SBI.

TELEVISION 1: Tell me what happened to her!

TELEVISION 2: You won't like it!


>>Panel 3 - SBI.

TELEVISION 1: Clarence!

TELEVISION 2: She's - she's -

TELEVISION 1 (continued): Yes? Yes?!


>>Panel 4 - SBI. The Gargoyles are laughing hysterically.

TELEVISION 2: She's a - a librarian!

GARGOYLES (all): HAHAHAHAHAHA

Sunday

BUY THEM BOOKS, AND THEY'LL EAT THE PAGES


>>Panel 1 - The floor is cluttered with Christmas refuse. Tik is darting about, picking up wads of Christmas paper, and throwing them. Cog is holding an empty box and lunging to catch the paper.

TIK: Hup!


>>Panel 2 - SBI.

TIK: Hup!


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Tok has entered the panel and is watching the other two.

TIK: Hup!


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Tik is holding a wad of paper out to Tok. Cog is smelling her cardboard box in pleasure.

TOK: You're supposed to play with the toys, not the packaging.

TIK: Then they shouldn't make the wrapping paper so pretty.

COG: And they shouldn't have made the corrugated cardboard smell sooo good.

Monday

BACK TO THE LAST SAVE POINT


>>Panel 1 – Sain and Icingbell are dressed for skiing. Icingbell is pulling things out of the trunk of a car. Sain is standing around and complaining.

SAIN: It’s bright.

ICINGBELL: That’s what the shades are for.


>>Panel 2 – SBI.

SAIN: It’s slick.

ICINGBELL: That’s what the boots are for.


>>Panel 3 – SBI. Icingbell is cuddling up to Sain.

SAIN: It’s cold.

ICINGBELL: Sweetie, that’s what I’m for.


>>Panel 4 – SBI. Icingbell has pulled back a bit from Sain and giving him a stern look.

SAIN: That’s great for later, but for now I could probably use some battery-powered socks.

ICINGBELL: Hon, getting access to certain features depends in part on giving the right responses. Would you like to reset and change your answer?



Tuesday

THE GROUND IS SLIPPERY HERE


>>Panel 1 – Icingbell is flying down a slope.

ICINGBELL: Wheeeee!!!


>>Panel 2 – Icingbell is smoothly pulling up at the end of the hill. In the background, an object can be seen tumbling down the hill.

SOUND EFFECT: Whish!


>>Panel 3 – Icingbell is watching as Sain rolls down the hill while his skis fly away.

SOUND EFFECT: THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP


>>Panel 4 – A snow-covered Sain is looking up from the ground at Icingbell.

SAIN: My people were never intended to go to the snow.

ICINGBELL: Fine. We’ll go find some crocodiles for you to wrestle, instead.

TRUE GRACE


>>Panel 1 - Sain is doing a handstand with his snowboard. Icingbell is watching him.

SAIN: Uh


>>Panel 2 - Sain has reached the opposite side and is spinning in the air.

SAIN: Woop!


>>Panel 3 - Sain has landed back where he started. Icingbell is looking puzzled.

SAIN: Ta-Da!


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sain is holding the snowboard out to her.

ICINGBELL: Okay, how can you do that, but suck so much on skis?

SAIN: Well youngster, in the old days these things had wheels and were quite popular in the urban environment I grew up in.

WHAT WOULD SHE DO IF HIS TONGUE FROZE TO A POLE?


>>Panel 1 - Icingbell and Sain are carrying their snow equipment. Sain is frowning and touching his nose.

SAIN: My nose is cold.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Icingbell has turned around and enclosed Sain's nose with her mouth. He looks shocked.


>>Panel 3 - SBI.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Icingbell has pulled back and is smiling at Sain. Sain looks disturbed.

ICINGBELL: Better?

SAIN: I'm not sure any kind of relationship covers that level of intimacy.

NEW HOBBIES


>>Panel 1 - Icingbell is packing up the snow equipment in the car. Sain is gesturing as he describes his day.

SAIN: See me on that slope? I was all -

SAIN: Zip! Zip!


>>Panel 2 - SBI.

SAIN: Whoosh!


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Icingbell is closing the trunk.

ICINGBELL: See, I told you you'd have fun.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Icingbell is smirking and walking to go get in the car.

SAIN: Almost as much fun as you'll have with those pictures of me falling down that I saw you sneaking with your camera-phone.

ICINGBELL: Well, you're the one who suggested I take up scrapbooking as a hobby.

THE PUZZLING CHOICES ADULTS MAKE IN ANTICIPATION OF A NEW YEAR


>>Panel 1 - Sven is dressed in boxers and standing beside a bed. He is preparing to put on a T-shirt. Fenwort is sprawled on the bed, eyes closed.

SVEN: Morning, sleepy-head.

FENWORT: Uhhh.


>>Panel 2 - SBI. Sven has pulled on the shirt and is leaning over to speak into Fenwort's ear.

SVEN: Welcome to the New Year!

FENWORT: Uhhh.


>>Panel 3 - SBI. Sven is pulling up his pants and smiling maliciously.

SVEN: Make a New Year's Resolution yet?

FENWORT: Uhhh.


>>Panel 4 - SBI. Sven is buttoning his pants.

SVEN: It wouldn't have anything to do with the amount of alcohol you might consume at celebrations, would it?

FENWORT: Uhhhhhh.